Kamasutra 3.5

3.5.1

prācuryeṇa((95)) kanyāyā vivikta-darśanasyālābhe dhātreyikāṃ priya-hitābhyām upagṛhyopasarpet.

When a girl cannot meet her lover frequently in private, she should send the daughter of her nurse to him, it being understood that she has confidence in her, and had previously gained her over to her interests. On seeing the man, the daughter of the nurse should, in the course of conversation, describe to him the noble birth, the good disposition, the beauty, talent, skill, knowledge of human nature, and affection of the girl in such a way as not to let him suppose that she had been sent by the girl, and should thus create affection for the girl in the heart of the man. To the girl also she should speak about the excellent qualities of the man, especially of those qualities which she knows are pleasing to the girl. She should, moreover, speak with disparagement of the other lovers of the girl, and talk about the avarice and indiscretion of their parents, and the fickleness of their relations. She should also quote samples of many girls of ancient times, such as Sakuntala and others, who, having united themselves with lovers of their own caste and their own choice, were ever happy afterwards in their society. She should also tell of other girls who married into great families, and being troubled by rival wives became wretched and miserable, and were finally abandoned. She should further speak of the good fortune, the continual happiness, the chastity, obedience, and affection of the man, and if the girl gets amorous about him, she should endeavor to allay her shameand her fear as well as her suspicions about any disaster that might result from her marriage. In a word, she should act the whole part of a female messenger by telling the girl all about the man's affection for her, the places he frequented, and the endeavors he made to meet her, and by frequently repeating, "It will be all right if the man will take you away forcibly and unexpectedly."

3.5.2

sā cainām a:viditā nāma nāyakasya bhūtvā tad-guṇair anurañjayet. tasyāś ca rucyān nāyaka-guṇān bhūyiṣṭham upavarṇayet.

When a girl cannot meet her lover frequently in private, she should send the daughter of her nurse to him, it being understood that she has confidence in her, and had previously gained her over to her interests. On seeing the man, the daughter of the nurse should, in the course of conversation, describe to him the noble birth, the good disposition, the beauty, talent, skill, knowledge of human nature, and affection of the girl in such a way as not to let him suppose that she had been sent by the girl, and should thus create affection for the girl in the heart of the man. To the girl also she should speak about the excellent qualities of the man, especially of those qualities which she knows are pleasing to the girl. She should, moreover, speak with disparagement of the other lovers of the girl, and talk about the avarice and indiscretion of their parents, and the fickleness of their relations. She should also quote samples of many girls of ancient times, such as Sakuntala and others, who, having united themselves with lovers of their own caste and their own choice, were ever happy afterwards in their society. She should also tell of other girls who married into great families, and being troubled by rival wives became wretched and miserable, and were finally abandoned. She should further speak of the good fortune, the continual happiness, the chastity, obedience, and affection of the man, and if the girl gets amorous about him, she should endeavor to allay her shameand her fear as well as her suspicions about any disaster that might result from her marriage. In a word, she should act the whole part of a female messenger by telling the girl all about the man's affection for her, the places he frequented, and the endeavors he made to meet her, and by frequently repeating, "It will be all right if the man will take you away forcibly and unexpectedly."

3.5.3

anyeṣāṃ varayitṝṇāṃ doṣān abhiprāya-viruddhān pratipādayet..3.5.4 mātāpitroś ca guṇān:abhijñatāṃ lubdhatāṃ ca capalatāṃ ca bāndhavānām.

When a girl cannot meet her lover frequently in private, she should send the daughter of her nurse to him, it being understood that she has confidence in her, and had previously gained her over to her interests. On seeing the man, the daughter of the nurse should, in the course of conversation, describe to him the noble birth, the good disposition, the beauty, talent, skill, knowledge of human nature, and affection of the girl in such a way as not to let him suppose that she had been sent by the girl, and should thus create affection for the girl in the heart of the man. To the girl also she should speak about the excellent qualities of the man, especially of those qualities which she knows are pleasing to the girl. She should, moreover, speak with disparagement of the other lovers of the girl, and talk about the avarice and indiscretion of their parents, and the fickleness of their relations. She should also quote samples of many girls of ancient times, such as Sakuntala and others, who, having united themselves with lovers of their own caste and their own choice, were ever happy afterwards in their society. She should also tell of other girls who married into great families, and being troubled by rival wives became wretched and miserable, and were finally abandoned. She should further speak of the good fortune, the continual happiness, the chastity, obedience, and affection of the man, and if the girl gets amorous about him, she should endeavor to allay her shameand her fear as well as her suspicions about any disaster that might result from her marriage. In a word, she should act the whole part of a female messenger by telling the girl all about the man's affection for her, the places he frequented, and the endeavors he made to meet her, and by frequently repeating, "It will be all right if the man will take you away forcibly and unexpectedly."

3.5.5

yāś cānyā api samāna-jātīyāḥ kanyāḥ śakuntalādyāḥ sva-buddhyā bhartāraṃ prāpya saṃprayuktā modante sma((96)) tāś cāsyā nidarśayet.

When a girl cannot meet her lover frequently in private, she should send the daughter of her nurse to him, it being understood that she has confidence in her, and had previously gained her over to her interests. On seeing the man, the daughter of the nurse should, in the course of conversation, describe to him the noble birth, the good disposition, the beauty, talent, skill, knowledge of human nature, and affection of the girl in such a way as not to let him suppose that she had been sent by the girl, and should thus create affection for the girl in the heart of the man. To the girl also she should speak about the excellent qualities of the man, especially of those qualities which she knows are pleasing to the girl. She should, moreover, speak with disparagement of the other lovers of the girl, and talk about the avarice and indiscretion of their parents, and the fickleness of their relations. She should also quote samples of many girls of ancient times, such as Sakuntala and others, who, having united themselves with lovers of their own caste and their own choice, were ever happy afterwards in their society. She should also tell of other girls who married into great families, and being troubled by rival wives became wretched and miserable, and were finally abandoned. She should further speak of the good fortune, the continual happiness, the chastity, obedience, and affection of the man, and if the girl gets amorous about him, she should endeavor to allay her shameand her fear as well as her suspicions about any disaster that might result from her marriage. In a word, she should act the whole part of a female messenger by telling the girl all about the man's affection for her, the places he frequented, and the endeavors he made to meet her, and by frequently repeating, "It will be all right if the man will take you away forcibly and unexpectedly."

3.5.6

mahā-kuleṣu sāpatnakair bādhyamānā vidviṣṭāḥ duḥkhitāḥ parityaktāś ca dṛśyante.

When a girl cannot meet her lover frequently in private, she should send the daughter of her nurse to him, it being understood that she has confidence in her, and had previously gained her over to her interests. On seeing the man, the daughter of the nurse should, in the course of conversation, describe to him the noble birth, the good disposition, the beauty, talent, skill, knowledge of human nature, and affection of the girl in such a way as not to let him suppose that she had been sent by the girl, and should thus create affection for the girl in the heart of the man. To the girl also she should speak about the excellent qualities of the man, especially of those qualities which she knows are pleasing to the girl. She should, moreover, speak with disparagement of the other lovers of the girl, and talk about the avarice and indiscretion of their parents, and the fickleness of their relations. She should also quote samples of many girls of ancient times, such as Sakuntala and others, who, having united themselves with lovers of their own caste and their own choice, were ever happy afterwards in their society. She should also tell of other girls who married into great families, and being troubled by rival wives became wretched and miserable, and were finally abandoned. She should further speak of the good fortune, the continual happiness, the chastity, obedience, and affection of the man, and if the girl gets amorous about him, she should endeavor to allay her shameand her fear as well as her suspicions about any disaster that might result from her marriage. In a word, she should act the whole part of a female messenger by telling the girl all about the man's affection for her, the places he frequented, and the endeavors he made to meet her, and by frequently repeating, "It will be all right if the man will take you away forcibly and unexpectedly."

3.5.7

āyatiṃ cāsya varṇayet.

When a girl cannot meet her lover frequently in private, she should send the daughter of her nurse to him, it being understood that she has confidence in her, and had previously gained her over to her interests. On seeing the man, the daughter of the nurse should, in the course of conversation, describe to him the noble birth, the good disposition, the beauty, talent, skill, knowledge of human nature, and affection of the girl in such a way as not to let him suppose that she had been sent by the girl, and should thus create affection for the girl in the heart of the man. To the girl also she should speak about the excellent qualities of the man, especially of those qualities which she knows are pleasing to the girl. She should, moreover, speak with disparagement of the other lovers of the girl, and talk about the avarice and indiscretion of their parents, and the fickleness of their relations. She should also quote samples of many girls of ancient times, such as Sakuntala and others, who, having united themselves with lovers of their own caste and their own choice, were ever happy afterwards in their society. She should also tell of other girls who married into great families, and being troubled by rival wives became wretched and miserable, and were finally abandoned. She should further speak of the good fortune, the continual happiness, the chastity, obedience, and affection of the man, and if the girl gets amorous about him, she should endeavor to allay her shameand her fear as well as her suspicions about any disaster that might result from her marriage. In a word, she should act the whole part of a female messenger by telling the girl all about the man's affection for her, the places he frequented, and the endeavors he made to meet her, and by frequently repeating, "It will be all right if the man will take you away forcibly and unexpectedly."

3.5.8

sukham an:upahatam eka-cāritāyāṃ nāyakānurāgaṃ ca varṇayet.

When a girl cannot meet her lover frequently in private, she should send the daughter of her nurse to him, it being understood that she has confidence in her, and had previously gained her over to her interests. On seeing the man, the daughter of the nurse should, in the course of conversation, describe to him the noble birth, the good disposition, the beauty, talent, skill, knowledge of human nature, and affection of the girl in such a way as not to let him suppose that she had been sent by the girl, and should thus create affection for the girl in the heart of the man. To the girl also she should speak about the excellent qualities of the man, especially of those qualities which she knows are pleasing to the girl. She should, moreover, speak with disparagement of the other lovers of the girl, and talk about the avarice and indiscretion of their parents, and the fickleness of their relations. She should also quote samples of many girls of ancient times, such as Sakuntala and others, who, having united themselves with lovers of their own caste and their own choice, were ever happy afterwards in their society. She should also tell of other girls who married into great families, and being troubled by rival wives became wretched and miserable, and were finally abandoned. She should further speak of the good fortune, the continual happiness, the chastity, obedience, and affection of the man, and if the girl gets amorous about him, she should endeavor to allay her shameand her fear as well as her suspicions about any disaster that might result from her marriage. In a word, she should act the whole part of a female messenger by telling the girl all about the man's affection for her, the places he frequented, and the endeavors he made to meet her, and by frequently repeating, "It will be all right if the man will take you away forcibly and unexpectedly."

3.5.9

sa:manorathāyāś cāsyā apāyaṃ sādhvasaṃ vrīḍāṃ ca hetubhir avacchindyāt.

When a girl cannot meet her lover frequently in private, she should send the daughter of her nurse to him, it being understood that she has confidence in her, and had previously gained her over to her interests. On seeing the man, the daughter of the nurse should, in the course of conversation, describe to him the noble birth, the good disposition, the beauty, talent, skill, knowledge of human nature, and affection of the girl in such a way as not to let him suppose that she had been sent by the girl, and should thus create affection for the girl in the heart of the man. To the girl also she should speak about the excellent qualities of the man, especially of those qualities which she knows are pleasing to the girl. She should, moreover, speak with disparagement of the other lovers of the girl, and talk about the avarice and indiscretion of their parents, and the fickleness of their relations. She should also quote samples of many girls of ancient times, such as Sakuntala and others, who, having united themselves with lovers of their own caste and their own choice, were ever happy afterwards in their society. She should also tell of other girls who married into great families, and being troubled by rival wives became wretched and miserable, and were finally abandoned. She should further speak of the good fortune, the continual happiness, the chastity, obedience, and affection of the man, and if the girl gets amorous about him, she should endeavor to allay her shameand her fear as well as her suspicions about any disaster that might result from her marriage. In a word, she should act the whole part of a female messenger by telling the girl all about the man's affection for her, the places he frequented, and the endeavors he made to meet her, and by frequently repeating, "It will be all right if the man will take you away forcibly and unexpectedly."

3.5.10

dūtī-kalpaṃ ca sakalam ācaret((97)).

When a girl cannot meet her lover frequently in private, she should send the daughter of her nurse to him, it being understood that she has confidence in her, and had previously gained her over to her interests. On seeing the man, the daughter of the nurse should, in the course of conversation, describe to him the noble birth, the good disposition, the beauty, talent, skill, knowledge of human nature, and affection of the girl in such a way as not to let him suppose that she had been sent by the girl, and should thus create affection for the girl in the heart of the man. To the girl also she should speak about the excellent qualities of the man, especially of those qualities which she knows are pleasing to the girl. She should, moreover, speak with disparagement of the other lovers of the girl, and talk about the avarice and indiscretion of their parents, and the fickleness of their relations. She should also quote samples of many girls of ancient times, such as Sakuntala and others, who, having united themselves with lovers of their own caste and their own choice, were ever happy afterwards in their society. She should also tell of other girls who married into great families, and being troubled by rival wives became wretched and miserable, and were finally abandoned. She should further speak of the good fortune, the continual happiness, the chastity, obedience, and affection of the man, and if the girl gets amorous about him, she should endeavor to allay her shameand her fear as well as her suspicions about any disaster that might result from her marriage. In a word, she should act the whole part of a female messenger by telling the girl all about the man's affection for her, the places he frequented, and the endeavors he made to meet her, and by frequently repeating, "It will be all right if the man will take you away forcibly and unexpectedly."

3.5.11

tvām a:jānatīm iva nāyako balād grahīṣyatīti tathā su:parigṛhītaṃ syād iti yojayet.

When a girl cannot meet her lover frequently in private, she should send the daughter of her nurse to him, it being understood that she has confidence in her, and had previously gained her over to her interests. On seeing the man, the daughter of the nurse should, in the course of conversation, describe to him the noble birth, the good disposition, the beauty, talent, skill, knowledge of human nature, and affection of the girl in such a way as not to let him suppose that she had been sent by the girl, and should thus create affection for the girl in the heart of the man. To the girl also she should speak about the excellent qualities of the man, especially of those qualities which she knows are pleasing to the girl. She should, moreover, speak with disparagement of the other lovers of the girl, and talk about the avarice and indiscretion of their parents, and the fickleness of their relations. She should also quote samples of many girls of ancient times, such as Sakuntala and others, who, having united themselves with lovers of their own caste and their own choice, were ever happy afterwards in their society. She should also tell of other girls who married into great families, and being troubled by rival wives became wretched and miserable, and were finally abandoned. She should further speak of the good fortune, the continual happiness, the chastity, obedience, and affection of the man, and if the girl gets amorous about him, she should endeavor to allay her shameand her fear as well as her suspicions about any disaster that might result from her marriage. In a word, she should act the whole part of a female messenger by telling the girl all about the man's affection for her, the places he frequented, and the endeavors he made to meet her, and by frequently repeating, "It will be all right if the man will take you away forcibly and unexpectedly."

3.5.12

pratipannām abhipretāvakāśa-vartinīṃ nāyakaḥ śrotriyāgārād agnim ānayya kuśān āstīrya yathā-smṛti hutvā ca triḥ parikramet.

When the girl is gained over, and acts openly with the man as his wife, he should cause fire to be brought from the house of a Brahman, and having spread the Kusha grass upon the ground, and offered an oblation to the fire, he should marry her according to the precepts of the religious law. After this he should inform his parents of the fact, because it is the opinion of ancient authors that a marriage solemnly contracted in the presence of fire cannot afterwards be set aside.

3.5.13

tato mātari pitari ca prakāśayet.

When the girl is gained over, and acts openly with the man as his wife, he should cause fire to be brought from the house of a Brahman, and having spread the Kusha grass upon the ground, and offered an oblation to the fire, he should marry her according to the precepts of the religious law. After this he should inform his parents of the fact, because it is the opinion of ancient authors that a marriage solemnly contracted in the presence of fire cannot afterwards be set aside.

3.5.14

agni-sākṣikā hi vivāhā na nivartanta ity ācārya-samayaḥ.

When the girl is gained over, and acts openly with the man as his wife, he should cause fire to be brought from the house of a Brahman, and having spread the Kusha grass upon the ground, and offered an oblation to the fire, he should marry her according to the precepts of the religious law. After this he should inform his parents of the fact, because it is the opinion of ancient authors that a marriage solemnly contracted in the presence of fire cannot afterwards be set aside.

3.5.15

dūṣayitvā caināṃ śanaiḥ sva-jane prakāśayet.

After the consummation of the marriage, the relations of the man should gradually be made acquainted with the affair, and the relations of the girl should also be apprised of it in such a way that they may consent to the marriage, and overlook the manner in which it was brought about, and when this is done they should afterwards be reconciled by affectionate presents and favorable conduct. In this manner the man should marry the girl according to the Gandharva form of marriage.

3.5.16

tad-bāndhavāś ca yathā kulasyāghaṃ pariharanto daṇḍa-bhayāc((98)) ca tasmā evaināṃ dadyus tathā yojayet.

After the consummation of the marriage, the relations of the man should gradually be made acquainted with the affair, and the relations of the girl should also be apprised of it in such a way that they may consent to the marriage, and overlook the manner in which it was brought about, and when this is done they should afterwards be reconciled by affectionate presents and favorable conduct. In this manner the man should marry the girl according to the Gandharva form of marriage.

3.5.17

an:antaraṃ ca prīty-upagraheṇa rāgeṇa tad-bāndhavān prīṇayed((99)) iti.

After the consummation of the marriage, the relations of the man should gradually be made acquainted with the affair, and the relations of the girl should also be apprised of it in such a way that they may consent to the marriage, and overlook the manner in which it was brought about, and when this is done they should afterwards be reconciled by affectionate presents and favorable conduct. In this manner the man should marry the girl according to the Gandharva form of marriage.

3.5.18

gāndharveṇa vivāhena vā ceṣṭeta.

After the consummation of the marriage, the relations of the man should gradually be made acquainted with the affair, and the relations of the girl should also be apprised of it in such a way that they may consent to the marriage, and overlook the manner in which it was brought about, and when this is done they should afterwards be reconciled by affectionate presents and favorable conduct. In this manner the man should marry the girl according to the Gandharva form of marriage.

3.5.19

a:pratipadyamānāyām antaś-cāriṇīm anyāṃ kula-pramadāṃ pūrva saṃsṛṣṭāṃ prīyamāṇāṃ copagṛhya tayā saha viṣahyam avakāśam enām anya-kāryāpadeśenānāyayet.

When the girl cannot make up her mind, or will not express her readiness to marry, the man should obtain her in any one of the following ways:—

(1) On a fitting occasion, and under some excuse, he should, by means of a female friend with whom he is well acquainted and whom he can trust, and who also is well known to the girl's family, get the girl brought unexpectedly to his house, and he should then bring fire from the house of a Brahman, and proceed as before described.

3.5.20

tataḥ śrotriyāgārād agnim iti samānaṃ pūrveṇa((100)).

(1) On a fitting occasion, and under some excuse, he should, by means of a female friend with whom he is well acquainted and whom he can trust, and who also is well known to the girl's family, get the girl brought unexpectedly to his house, and he should then bring fire from the house of a Brahman, and proceed as before described.

3.5.21

āsanne ca vivāhe mātaram asyās tad-abhimata-doṣair anuśayaṃ((101)) grāhayet.

(2) When the marriage of the girl with some other person draws near, the man should disparage the future husband to the utmost in the mind of the mother of the girl, and then having got the girl to come with her mother's consent to a neighbouring house, he should bring fire from the house of a Brahman, and proceed as above.

3.5.22

tatas tad-anumatena prātiveśyā-bhāvane((102)) niśi nāyakam ānāyya śrotriyāgārād agnim iti sam~ānaṃ pūrveṇa.

(2) When the marriage of the girl with some other person draws near, the man should disparage the future husband to the utmost in the mind of the mother of the girl, and then having got the girl to come with her mother's consent to a neighbouring house, he should bring fire from the house of a Brahman, and proceed as above.

3.5.23

bhrātaram asyā vā samāna-vayasaṃ veśyāsu para-strīṣu vā prasaktam a:sukareṇa sāhāyya-dānena priyopagrahaś ca su:dīrgha-kālam anurañjayet. ante ca svābhiprāyaṃ grāhayet.

(3) The man should become a great friend of the brother of the girl, the said brother being of the same age as himself, and addicted to courtezans, and to intrigues with the wives of other people, and should give him assistance in such matters, and also give him occasional presents. He should then tell him about his great love for his sister, as young men will sacrifice even their lives for the sake of those who may be of the same age, habits, and dispositions as themselves. After this the man should get the girl brought by means of her brother to some secure place, and having brought fire from the house of a Brahman should proceed as before.

3.5.24

prāyeṇa hi yuvānaḥ samāna-śīla-vyasana-vayasāṃ vayasyānām arthe jīvitam api tyajanti. tatas tenaivānya-kāryāt tām ānāyayet. viṣahyaṃ sāvakāśam((103)) iti samānaṃ pūrveṇa.

(3) The man should become a great friend of the brother of the girl, the said brother being of the same age as himself, and addicted to courtezans, and to intrigues with the wives of other people, and should give him assistance in such matters, and also give him occasional presents. He should then tell him about his great love for his sister, as young men will sacrifice even their lives for the sake of those who may be of the same age, habits, and dispositions as themselves. After this the man should get the girl brought by means of her brother to some secure place, and having brought fire from the house of a Brahman should proceed as before.

3.5.25

aṣṭamī-candrikādiṣu ca dhātreyikā madanīyam enāṃ pāyayitvā kiṃ cid ātmanaḥ kāryam uddiśya nāyakasya viṣahyaṃ deśam ānayet. tatraināṃ madāt saṃjñām a:pratipadyamānāṃ dūṣayitveti samānaṃ pūrveṇa.

(4) The man should on the occasion of festivals get the daughter of the nurse to give the girl some intoxicating substance, and then cause her to be brought to some secure place under the pretense of some business, and there having enjoyed her before she recovers from her intoxication, should bring fire from the house of a Brahman, and proceed as before.

3.5.26

suptāṃ caikacāriṇīṃ dhātreyikāṃ vārayitvā saṃjñām a:pratipadyamānāṃ dūṣayitveti samānaṃ pūrveṇa((104)).

(5) The man should, with the connivance of the daughter of the nurse, carry off the girl from her house while she is asleep, and then, having enjoyed her before she recovers from her sleep, should bring fire from the house of a Brahman, and proceed as before.

3.5.27

grāmāntaram udyānaṃ vā gacchantīṃ viditvā su:saṃbhṛta-sahāyo nāyakas tadā rakṣiṇo vitrāsya hatvā vā kanyām apaharet((105)).
iti vivāha-yogāḥ.

(6) When the girl goes to a garden, or to some village in the neighborhood, the man should, with his friends, fall on her guards, and having killed them, or frightened them away, forcibly carry her off, and proceed as before.

3.5.28

pūrvaḥ pūrvaḥ pradhānaṃ syād vivāho dharmataḥ sthiteḥ. pūrvābhāve tataḥ kāryo yo ya uttara uttaraḥ..

There are verses on this subject as follows:—In all the forms of marriage given in this chapter of this work, the one that precedes is better than the one that follows it on account of its being more in accordance with the commands of religion, and therefore it is only when it is impossible to carry the former into practice that the latter should be resorted to. As the fruit of all good marriages is love, the Gandharva form of marriage is respected, even though it is formed under unfavorable circumstances, because it fulfills the object sought for. Another cause of the respect accorded to the Gandharva form of marriage is, that it brings forth happiness, causes less trouble in its performance than the other forms of marriage, and is above all the result of previous love.

3.5.29

vyūḍhānāṃ hi vivāhānām anurāgaḥ phalaṃ yataḥ. madhyamo 'pi hi sad-yogo gāndharvas tena pūjitaḥ..

3.5.30

sukhatvād a:bahu-kleśād api cāvaraṇād iha. anurāgātmakatvāc ca gāndharvaḥ pravaro mataḥ((106))..

3.5_2

iti śrīvātsyāyanīye kāma-sūtre kanyā-saṃprayuktake tṛtīye 'dhikaraṇe vivāha-yogāḥ pañcamo 'dhyāyaḥ..livre 4 bhāryādhikārikaṃ caturtham adhikaraṇam.

3.5.p1

leçon 1 prathamo 'dhyāyaḥ
section (prakaraṇa)32 [eka-cāriṇī-vṛtta-prakaraṇam]