[Pramāṇa](https://indike.org/pramana/) › [Indian literature](https://indike.org/pramana/in) › [Polity, Pleasure & Law](https://indike.org/pramana/in.niti) › [Erotics and the Art of Love](https://indike.org/pramana/in.niti.kama) › [Kamasutra](https://indike.org/pramana/in.niti.kama.vatsyayana) › 3.4 # Kamasutra 3.4 Kāmasūtra 3.4 - **Language:** Sanskrit ### [3.4](https://indike.org/pramana/in.niti.kama.vatsyayana.3.4) ekapuruṣābhiyogāḥ > About Things to be Done Only by the Man, and the Acquisition of the Girl Thereby. Also, What is to be Done by a Girl to Gain Over a Man, and Subject Him to Her. > — Richard Francis Burton & Foster Fitzgerald Arbuthnot 1883, The Kama Sutra of Vatsyayana ### [3.4.1](https://indike.org/pramana/in.niti.kama.vatsyayana.3.4.1) darśiteṅgitākārāṃ kanyām \*upāyato 'bhiyuñjīta// > Now when the girl begins to show her love by outward signs and motions, as described in the last chapter, the lover should try to gain her over entirely by various ways and means, such as the following:— > — Richard Francis Burton & Foster Fitzgerald Arbuthnot 1883, The Kama Sutra of Vatsyayana ### [3.4.2](https://indike.org/pramana/in.niti.kama.vatsyayana.3.4.2) dyūte krīḍanakeṣu ca vivadamānaḥ sākāram asyāḥ pāṇim avalambeta// > When engaged with her in any game or sport he should intentionally hold her hand. He should practice upon her the various kinds of embraces, such as the touching embrace, and others already described in a preceding chapter (Part II., Capter 2). He should show her a pair of human beings cut out of the leaf of a tree, and such like things, at intervals. When engaged in water sports, he should dive at a distance from her, and come up close to her. He should show an increased liking for the new foliage of trees and such like things. He should describe to her the pangs he suffers on her account. He should relate to her the beautiful dream that he has had with reference to other women. At parties and assemblies of his caste he should sit near her, and touch her under some pretence or other, and having placed his foot upon hers, he should slowly touch each of her toes, and press the ends of the nails; if successful in this, he should get hold of her foot with his hand and repeat the same thing. He should also press a finger of her hand between his toes when she happens to be washing his feet; and whenever he gives anything to her or takes anything from her, he should show her by his manner and look how much he loves her. > — Richard Francis Burton & Foster Fitzgerald Arbuthnot 1883, The Kama Sutra of Vatsyayana ### [3.4.3](https://indike.org/pramana/in.niti.kama.vatsyayana.3.4.3) yathoktaṃ ca spṛṣṭakādikam āliṅganavidhiṃ vidadhyāt// ### [3.4.4](https://indike.org/pramana/in.niti.kama.vatsyayana.3.4.4) patracchedyakriyāyāṃ ca svābhiprāyāsūcakaṃ mithunam asyā darśayet// ### [3.4.5](https://indike.org/pramana/in.niti.kama.vatsyayana.3.4.5) evam anyad viralaśo darśayet// ### [3.4.6](https://indike.org/pramana/in.niti.kama.vatsyayana.3.4.6) jalakrīḍāyāṃ tad dūrato 'psu nimagnaḥ samīpam asyā gatvā spṛṣṭvā caināṃ tatraivonmajjet// ### [3.4.7](https://indike.org/pramana/in.niti.kama.vatsyayana.3.4.7) navapatrikādiṣu ca saviśeṣabhāvanivedanam// ### [3.4.8](https://indike.org/pramana/in.niti.kama.vatsyayana.3.4.8) ātmaduḥkhasyānirvedena kathanam// ### [3.4.9](https://indike.org/pramana/in.niti.kama.vatsyayana.3.4.9) svapnasya ca bhāvayuktasyānyāpadeśena// ### [3.4.10](https://indike.org/pramana/in.niti.kama.vatsyayana.3.4.10) prekṣaṇake svajanasamāje vā samīpopaveśanam/ tatrānyāpadiṣṭaṃ sparśanam// ### [3.4.11](https://indike.org/pramana/in.niti.kama.vatsyayana.3.4.11) apāśrayārthaṃ ca caraṇena caraṇasya pīḍanam// ### [3.4.12](https://indike.org/pramana/in.niti.kama.vatsyayana.3.4.12) tataḥ śanakair ekaikām aṅgulim abhispṛśet// ### [3.4.13](https://indike.org/pramana/in.niti.kama.vatsyayana.3.4.13) pādāṅguṣṭhena ca nakhāgrāṇi ghaṭṭayet// ### [3.4.14](https://indike.org/pramana/in.niti.kama.vatsyayana.3.4.14) tatra siddhaḥ padāt padam adhikam ākāṅkṣet// ### [3.4.15](https://indike.org/pramana/in.niti.kama.vatsyayana.3.4.15) kṣānty arthaṃ ca tad evābhyaset// ### [3.4.16](https://indike.org/pramana/in.niti.kama.vatsyayana.3.4.16) pādaśauce pādāṅgulisaṃdaṃśena tad aṅgulipīḍanam// ### [3.4.17](https://indike.org/pramana/in.niti.kama.vatsyayana.3.4.17) dravyasya samarpaṇe pratigrahe vā tadgato vikāraḥ// ### [3.4.18](https://indike.org/pramana/in.niti.kama.vatsyayana.3.4.18) ācamanānte codakenāsekaḥ// > He should sprinkle upon her the water brought for rinsing his mouth; and when alone with her in a lonely place, or in darkness, he should make love to her, and tell her the true state of his mind without distressing her in any way. > — Richard Francis Burton & Foster Fitzgerald Arbuthnot 1883, The Kama Sutra of Vatsyayana ### [3.4.19](https://indike.org/pramana/in.niti.kama.vatsyayana.3.4.19) vijane tamasi ca dvandvam āsīnaḥ kṣāntiṃ kruvīta/ samānadeśaśayyāyāṃ ca// ### [3.4.20](https://indike.org/pramana/in.niti.kama.vatsyayana.3.4.20) tatra yathārtham anudvejayato bhāvanivedanam// ### [3.4.21](https://indike.org/pramana/in.niti.kama.vatsyayana.3.4.21) vivikte ca kiṃ cid asti kathayitavyam ity uktvā nirvacanaṃ bhāvaṃ ca tatropalakṣayet/ yathā pāradārike vakṣyāmaḥ// > Whenever he sits with her on the same seat or bed he should say to her, "I have something to tell you in private," and then, when she comes to hear it in a quiet place, he should express his love to her more by manner and signs than by words. When he comes to know the state of her feelings towards him he should pretend to be ill, and should make her come to his house to speak to him. There he should intentionally hold her hand and place it on his eyes and forehead, and under the pretence of preparing some medicine for him he should ask her to do the work for his sake in the following words: "This work must be done by you, and by nobody else." When she wants to go away he should let her go, with an earnest request to come and see him again. This device of illness should be continued for three days and three nights. After this, when she begins coming to see him frequently, he should carry on long conversations with her, for, says Ghotakamukha, "though a man loves a girl ever so much, he never succeeds in winning her without a great deal of talking." At last, when the man finds the girl completely gained over, he may then begin to enjoy her. As for the saying that women grow less timid than usual during the evening, at night, and in darkness, and are desirous of congress at those times, and do not oppose men then, and should only be enjoyed at these hours, it is a matter of talk only. > — Richard Francis Burton & Foster Fitzgerald Arbuthnot 1883, The Kama Sutra of Vatsyayana ### [3.4.22](https://indike.org/pramana/in.niti.kama.vatsyayana.3.4.22) viditabhāvas tu vyādhim apadiśyaināṃ vārtāgrahaṇārthaṃ svam udavasitam ānayet// ### [3.4.23](https://indike.org/pramana/in.niti.kama.vatsyayana.3.4.23) āgatāyāś ca śiraḥ pīḍane niyogaḥ/ pāṇim avalambya cāsyāḥ sākāraṃ nayanayor lalāṭe ca nidadhyāt// ### [3.4.24](https://indike.org/pramana/in.niti.kama.vatsyayana.3.4.24) auṣadhāpadeśārthaṃ cāsyāḥ karma vinirdiśet// ### [3.4.25](https://indike.org/pramana/in.niti.kama.vatsyayana.3.4.25) idaṃ tvayā kartavyam/ na hy etad ṛte kanyayā anyena kāryam iti gacchantīṃ punar āgamanānubandham enāṃ visṛjet// ### [3.4.26](https://indike.org/pramana/in.niti.kama.vatsyayana.3.4.26) asya ca yogasya trirātraṃ trisaṃdhyaṃ ca prayuktiḥ// ### [3.4.27](https://indike.org/pramana/in.niti.kama.vatsyayana.3.4.27) abhīkṣṇadarśanārtham āgatāyāś ca goṣṭhīṃ vardhayet// ### [3.4.28](https://indike.org/pramana/in.niti.kama.vatsyayana.3.4.28) anyābhir api saha viśvāsanārtham adhikam adhikaṃ cābhiyuñjīta/ na tu vācā nirvadet// ### [3.4.29](https://indike.org/pramana/in.niti.kama.vatsyayana.3.4.29) dūragatabhāvo 'pi hi kanyāsu na nirvedena siddhyatīti ghoṭakamukhaḥ// ### [3.4.30](https://indike.org/pramana/in.niti.kama.vatsyayana.3.4.30) yadā tu bahusiddhāṃ manyeta tadaivopakramet// ### [3.4.31](https://indike.org/pramana/in.niti.kama.vatsyayana.3.4.31) pradoṣe niśi tamasi ca yoṣito mandasādhvasāḥ suratavyavasāyinyo rāgavatyaś ca bhavanti/ na ca puruṣaṃ pratyācakṣate/ tasmāt tatkālaṃ prayojayitavyā iti prāyovādaḥ// ### [3.4.32](https://indike.org/pramana/in.niti.kama.vatsyayana.3.4.32) ekapuruṣābhiyogānāṃ tv asaṃbhave gṛhītārthayā dhātreyikayā sakhyā vā tasyām antarbhūtayā tam artham anirvadantyā sahainām aṅkam ānāyayet/ tato yathoktam abhiyuñjīta// > When it is impossible for the man to carry on his endeavors alone, he should, by means of the daughter of her nurse, or of a female friend in whom she confides, cause the girl to be brought to him without making known to her his design, and he should then proceed with her in the manner above described. Or he should in the beginning send his own female servant to live with the girl as her friend, and should then gain her over by her means. > — Richard Francis Burton & Foster Fitzgerald Arbuthnot 1883, The Kama Sutra of Vatsyayana ### [3.4.33](https://indike.org/pramana/in.niti.kama.vatsyayana.3.4.33) svāṃ vā paricārikām ādāv eva sakhītvenāsyāḥ praṇidadhyāt// ### [3.4.34](https://indike.org/pramana/in.niti.kama.vatsyayana.3.4.34) yajñe vivāhe yātrāyām utsave vyasane prekṣaṇakavyāpṛte jane tatra tatra ca dṛṣṭeṅgitākārāṃ parīkṣitabhāvām ekākinīm upakrameta/ > At last, when he knows the state of her feelings by her outward manner and conduct towards him at religious ceremonies, marriage ceremonies, fairs, festivals, theatres, public assemblies, and such like occasions, he should begin to enjoy her when she is alone, for Vatsyayana lays it down, that women, when resorted to at proper times and in proper places, do not turn away from their lovers. > — Richard Francis Burton & Foster Fitzgerald Arbuthnot 1883, The Kama Sutra of Vatsyayana ### [3.4.35](https://indike.org/pramana/in.niti.kama.vatsyayana.3.4.35) na hi dṛṣṭabhāvā yoṣito deśe kāle ca prayujyamānā vyāvartanta iti vātsyāyanaḥ/ ity ekapuruṣābhiyogāḥ/ ### [3.4.36](https://indike.org/pramana/in.niti.kama.vatsyayana.3.4.36) mandāpadeśā guṇavaty api kanyā dhanahīnā kulīnāpi samānair ayācyāmānā mātāpitṛviyuktā vā jñātikulavartinī vā prāptayauvanā pāṇigrahaṇaṃ svayam abhīpseta// > When a girl, possessed of good qualities and well-bred, though born in a humble family, or destitute of wealth, and not therefore desired by her equals, or an orphan girl, or one deprived of her parents, but observing the rules of her family and caste, should wish to bring about her own marriage when she comes of age, such a girl should endeavor to gain over a strong and good looking young man, or a person whom she thinks would marry her on account of the weakness of his mind, and even without the consent of his parents. She should do this by such means as would endear her to the said person, as well as by frequently seeing and meeting him. Her mother also should constantly cause them to meet by means of her female friends, and the daughter of her nurse. The girl herself should try to get alone with her beloved in some quiet place, and at odd times should give him flowers, betel nut, betel leaves, and perfumes. She should also show her skill in the practice of the arts, in shampooing, in scratching, and in pressing with the nails. She should also talk to him on the subjects he likes best, and discuss with him the ways and means of gaining over and winning the affections of a girl. > — Richard Francis Burton & Foster Fitzgerald Arbuthnot 1883, The Kama Sutra of Vatsyayana ### [3.4.37](https://indike.org/pramana/in.niti.kama.vatsyayana.3.4.37) sā tu guṇavantaṃ śaktaṃ sudarśanaṃ bālaprītyābhiyojayet// ### [3.4.38](https://indike.org/pramana/in.niti.kama.vatsyayana.3.4.38) yaṃ vā manyeta mātāpitror asamīkṣayā svayam apy ayam indriyadaurbalyān mayi pravartiṣyata iti priyahitopacārair abhīkṣṇasaṃdarśanena ca tam āvarjayet// ### [3.4.39](https://indike.org/pramana/in.niti.kama.vatsyayana.3.4.39) mātā caināṃ sakhībhir dhātreyikābhiś ca saha tad abhimukhīṃ kuryāt// ### [3.4.40](https://indike.org/pramana/in.niti.kama.vatsyayana.3.4.40) puṣpagandhatāmbūlahastāyā vijane vikāle ca tad upasthānam/ kalākauśalaprakāśane vā saṃvāhane śirasaḥ pīḍane caucityadarśanam/ prayojyasya sātmyayuktāḥ kathāyogāḥ bālāyām upakrameṣu yathoktam ācaret// ### [3.4.41](https://indike.org/pramana/in.niti.kama.vatsyayana.3.4.41) na caivāntarāpi puruṣaṃ svayam abhiyuñjīta/ svayam abhiyoginī hi yuvatiḥ saubhāgyaṃ jahātīty ācāryāḥ// > But old authors say that although the girl loves the man ever so much, she should not offer herself, or make the first overtures, for a girl who does this loses her dignity, and is liable to be scorned and rejected. But when the man shows his wish to enjoy her, she should be favorable to him, and should show no change in her demeanour when he embraces her, and should receive all the manifestations of his love as if she were ignorant of the state of his mind. But when he tries to kiss her she should oppose him; when he begs to be allowed to have sexual intercourse with her she should let him touch her private parts only and with considerable difficulty; and though importuned by him, she should not yield herself up to him as if of her own accord, but should resist his attempts to have her. It is only, moreover, when she is certain that she is truly loved, and that her lover is indeed devoted to her, and will not change his mind, that she should then give herself up to him, and persuade him to marry her quickly. After losing her virginity she should tell her confidential friends about it. > — Richard Francis Burton & Foster Fitzgerald Arbuthnot 1883, The Kama Sutra of Vatsyayana ### [3.4.42](https://indike.org/pramana/in.niti.kama.vatsyayana.3.4.42) tat prayuktānāṃ tv abhiyogānām ānulomyena grahaṇam/ ### [3.4.43](https://indike.org/pramana/in.niti.kama.vatsyayana.3.4.43) pariṣvaktā ca na vikṛtiṃ bhajet/ ślakṣṇam ākāram ajānatīva pratigṛhṇīyāt/ vadanagrahaṇe balāt kāraḥ/ ### [3.4.44](https://indike.org/pramana/in.niti.kama.vatsyayana.3.4.44) ratibhāvanām abhyarthyamānāyāḥ kṛcchrād guhyasaṃsparśanam// ### [3.4.45](https://indike.org/pramana/in.niti.kama.vatsyayana.3.4.45) abhyarthitāpi nātivivṛtā svayaṃ syāt/ anyatrāniścayakālāt/ ### [3.4.46](https://indike.org/pramana/in.niti.kama.vatsyayana.3.4.46) yadā tu manyetānurakto mayi na vyāvartiṣyata iti tadaivainam abhiyuñjānaṃ bālabhāvamokṣāya \*tvarayet/ ### [3.4.47](https://indike.org/pramana/in.niti.kama.vatsyayana.3.4.47) vimuktakanyābhāvā ca viśvāsyeṣu prakāśayet/ iti prayojyasyopāvartanam// > Here end the efforts of a girl to gain over a man. > — Richard Francis Burton & Foster Fitzgerald Arbuthnot 1883, The Kama Sutra of Vatsyayana ### [3.4.48](https://indike.org/pramana/in.niti.kama.vatsyayana.3.4.48) kanyābhiyujyamānā tu yaṃ manyetāśrayaṃ sukham/ anukūlaṃ ca vaśyaṃ ca tasya kuryāt parigraham// > There are also some verses on the subject as follows; A girl who is much sought after should marry the man that she likes, and whom she thinks would be obedient to her, and capable of giving her pleasure. But when from the desire of wealth a girl is married by her parents to a rich man without taking into consideration the character or looks of the bridegroom, or when given to a man who has several wives, she never becomes attached to the man, even though he be endowed with good qualities, obedient to her will, active, strong, and healthy, and anxious to please her in every way. A husband who is obedient but yet master of himself, though he be poor and not good looking, is better than one who is common to many women, even though he be handsome and attractive. The wives of rich men, where there are many wives, are not generally attached to their husbands, and are not confidential with them, and even though they possess all the external enjoyments of life, still have recourse to other men. A man who is of a low mind, who has fallen from his social position, and who is much given to travelling, does not deserve to be married; neither does one who has many wives and children, or one who is devoted to sport and gambling, and who comes to his wife only when he likes. Of all the lovers of a girl he only is her true husband who possesses the qualities that are liked by her, and such a husband only enjoys real superiority over her, because he is the husband of love. > — Richard Francis Burton & Foster Fitzgerald Arbuthnot 1883, The Kama Sutra of Vatsyayana ### [3.4.49](https://indike.org/pramana/in.niti.kama.vatsyayana.3.4.49) anapekṣya guṇān yatra rūpamaucityam eva ca/ kurvīta dhanalobhena patiṃ sāpatnakeṣv api// ### [3.4.50](https://indike.org/pramana/in.niti.kama.vatsyayana.3.4.50) tatra yuktaguṇaṃ vaśyaṃ śaktaṃ balavad arthinam/ upāyair abhiyuñjānaṃ kanyā na pratilobhayet// ### [3.4.51](https://indike.org/pramana/in.niti.kama.vatsyayana.3.4.51) varaṃ vaśyo daridro 'pi nirguṇo 'py ātmadhāraṇaḥ/ guṇair yukto 'pi na tv evaṃ bahusādhāraṇaḥ patiḥ// ### [3.4.52](https://indike.org/pramana/in.niti.kama.vatsyayana.3.4.52) prāyeṇa dhanināṃ dārā bahavo niravagrahāḥ/ bāhye saty upabhoge 'pi nirvisrambhā bahiḥ sukhāḥ// ### [3.4.53](https://indike.org/pramana/in.niti.kama.vatsyayana.3.4.53) nīco yas tv abhiyuñjīta puruṣaḥ palito 'pi vā/ videśagatiśīlaś ca na sa saṃyogam arhati// ### [3.4.54](https://indike.org/pramana/in.niti.kama.vatsyayana.3.4.54) yad ṛcchayābhiyukto yo dambhadyūtādhiko 'pi vā/ sapatnīkaś ca sāpatyo na sa saṃyogam arhati// ### [3.4.55](https://indike.org/pramana/in.niti.kama.vatsyayana.3.4.55) guṇasāmye 'bhiyoktṝṇām eko varayitā varaḥ/ tatrābhiyoktari śreṣṭhyam anurāgātmako hi saḥ// ## Translations (1) - [The Kama Sutra of Vatsyayana](https://indike.org/pramana/in.niti.kama.vatsyayana~en-burton.3.4.p1) — Richard Francis Burton & Foster Fitzgerald Arbuthnot 1883, English ## Commentaries (1) - [Jayamaṅgalā](https://indike.org/pramana/in.niti.kama.vatsyayana!jayamangala.23.1) — Yaśodhara Indrapada, Sanskrit ## Other recensions (1) - [Text edited by Jean Fezas (with notes)](https://indike.org/pramana/in.niti.kama.vatsyayana*fezas.3.4) — Sanskrit ## Linked texts (5) - [Kāmakuñjalatā](https://indike.org/pramana/in.niti.kama.kamakunjalata.23.14) — Sanskrit - [History of Dharmaśāstra (Ancient and Mediaeval Religious and Civil Law in India)](https://indike.org/pramana/ins.polity.kane-1930.v3.c37.100) — P. V. Kane, English - [Subhāṣitasudhānidhi](https://indike.org/pramana/in.lit.subhasita.subhasita.daksina.subhasitasudhanidhi.52.15) — Sāyaṇa, Sanskrit - [Kandarpacūḍāmaṇi](https://indike.org/pramana/in.niti.kama.kandarpacudamani.20.7) — Vīrabhadra(deva) 1577, Sanskrit - [The World of Courtesans](https://indike.org/pramana/ins.polity.chandra-1973.c8.156) — Moti Chandra, English --- Source: [https://indike.org/pramana/in.niti.kama.vatsyayana.3.4](https://indike.org/pramana/in.niti.kama.vatsyayana.3.4) · Pramāṇa