Pramāṇa · Search · About · API

The Position of Women in Hindu Civilisation, from Prehistoric Times to the Present Day c7.s6: Marriage Ritual and Ceremony

The Position of Women in Hindu Civilisation, from Prehistoric Times to the Present Day c7.s6

Language
English

Marriage Ritual and Ceremony

c7.s6.1

Let us now consider the marriage ritual. Its detailed description is not necessary for the purpose of this book; only a few points of cultural and sociological interest will be noted here.

c7.s6.2

Betrothal and marriage were the two main parts of the marriage ceremony. Naturally there was not much difference in time between the two events when post-puberty marriages were the order of the day. When, however, child marriages came into vogue, several months, and even years, would sometimes elapse between betrothal and marriage. This would often lead to peculiar complications. During the interval a better party may, for instance, become available. In such a case, Smritis generally allow the former contract to be rescinded, but with due compensation to the party aggrieved. Or, one of the parties may die. If it was the bride, the bridegroom was always at liberty to select a different consort. But what if the bridegroom-elect were to die? Smritis differ on the point. Some of them allow the bride to be married to a different person. They point out that betrothal is not marriage, and that the latter is complete and binding only after the actual performance of the ritual¹. Some, however, regarded even a betrothed bride as a widow, if the bridegroom-elect died before the actual marriage. Manu holds this view; he, however, allows the bride to be united with her brother-in-law but by *niyoga* only¹. This ultra-puritanical view did not meet with public approval ; it is in fact opposed to what Manu himself has stated in an earlier part of his work². There is no evidence to show that betrothed girls were regarded as widows by Hindu society if the persons to whom they had been affianced happened to die before the performance of the marriage.

c7.s6.3

¹ **अद्भिर्वाचा प्रदत्तायां म्रियेतोर्ध्वं नरो'यदि ।** **न च मन्त्रोपनीता स्यात्कुमारी पितुरेव सा ॥** Vasiṣṭha in *SCS*, p. 219.

c7.s6.4

¹ यस्या म्रियेत कन्याया वाचा सत्ये कृते पतिः । तामनेन विधानेन निजो विन्देत देवरः ॥ यथाविध्यधिगम्यैनां शुक्लवस्त्रां शुचिव्रताम् । मिथो भजेताप्रसवात्सकृत्सकृदृतावृतौ ॥ IX, 69, 70.

c7.s6.5

² पाणिग्रहणिका मन्त्रा नियतं दारलक्षणम् । तेषां निष्ठा तु विज्ञेया विवाहत्सप्तमे पदे ॥ VIII, 227.

c7.s6.6

We shall now briefly survey the marriage ritual in so far as it is necessary to understand its aims and ideals. When the hands of the two parties were being united in wedlock, they were informed that the union was being brought about at the behest of the god Sun. In the marriage sacrifice oblations were offered unto Pūshan, Bhaga and Aryaman, because they were the presiding deities over prosperity, good luck and conjugal fidelity respectively. These were sought to be ensured for the new couple by the nuptial sacrifice. The parties then touched each other’s heart ; they may be two in person, but henceforward they ought to be one in heart. Then they ascended a stone, and the prayer was offered that their mutual love should be as firm and steadfast as the stone they were treading upon. At night they were shown the Polar Star and Arundhatī ; the bridegroom was to be as steadfast in love as the former and the bride was to be as chaste as the latter. In the important ritual of *saptapadī*, the bride and the bridegroom took seven steps together, and it was hoped and prayed that their future life should be full of love, brilliance, opportunities, prosperity, bliss, progeny and holiness. Finally, the husband and wife took mutual vows that each would further and fulfil the hopes, desires and ambitions of the other in the spheres of religion, love and worldly prosperity. A prayer was offered at the end that the affectionate union of the couple should never be dissolved.¹

c7.s6.7

¹ See *Aś. G. S.* and *B.G.S.* for the details of marriage ritual.

c7.s6.8

After the conclusion of the marriage, the ritual required the parties to observe a *vrata* for three days, during which they could increase mutual acquaintance, but were to observe strict celibacy. It is laid down that during this period the couple was to sleep in the same room, but on different beds, and were to abstain from consummating their marriage. The idea was to emphasise at the outset on the mind of the young couple that self control was as much necessary in married life as it was before. Some writers have recommended this *vrata* for a longer period, if very capable children were desired (*B. G. S.*, I, 7, 9), while others have complained that this ordeal, even if for three days only, puts too strong a strain upon the self-restraint of the newly married couple². The period of three days’ celibacy seems to have been selected as a golden mean between extreme views. If, however, a couple felt unequal to the ordeal, the marriage was allowed to be consummated on the first night¹.

c7.s6.9

² This is the view of Bābhravya as quoted by the *Kāmasūtra* III, 2, 4-5. He pleads that during the period of three nights the couple should be allowed to approach and converse with each other on the understanding that they would not consummate the marriage. Cf. **त्रिरात्रमवचनं हि स्तंभमिव नायकं पश्यन्ती कन्या निर्विद्येत परिभवेच्च तृतीयामिव प्रकृतिम् इति बाभ्रवीयाः। उपक्रमेत विश्रंभयेच्च न तु ब्रह्मचर्यमतिवर्तेतेति वात्स्यायनः ॥** III, 2, 4-5.

c7.s6.10

¹ **यद्यशक्तः कुलाचाराद्वा तद्दिन एव धृतिहोमादि च..र्थीकर्मान्तं कर्म क्रियते।**\ Talavakāra quoted by Chandrakānta on *G. G. S.*, II. 3, 22.

c7.s6.11

The modern Garbhādhāna or Dvirāgamana ritual, which is performed when the bride attains puberty, is unknown to the Sūtras, which take it for granted that a marriage would be ordinarily consummated on the 4th night, as both the bride and the bridegroom were quite grown up. Writers of a later age, who were acquainted only with child marriages, could not naturally understand this assumption. Some of them, therefore, explain away Chaturthīkarma as a ritual unconnected with the consummation of marriage², while others like Mitramiśra adopt the more convenient course of omitting it altogether from their description of the marriage (*VMS*, p. 843).

c7.s6.12

² See Śaunaka in *VMS*, p. 845.

c7.s6.13

When girls were married at the age of 9 or 10, the consummation of the marriage naturally took place some years afterwards. A separate Saṁskāra called Garbhādhāna came to be prescribed for the occasion. It was performed on the attainment of puberty by the bride. From Alberuni we learn that this Saṁskāra had become common in the 11th century A. D. (II, p. 156). The reader will find its description in a medieval digest like the *Smṛitichandrikā*.

c7.s6.14

When did the marriage become complete and binding? We have seen already that betrothal was not deemed sufficient for the purpose. The majority view is that the parties become husband and wife at the end of the *saptapadī*, when the bride also passes into the *gotra* or the family of the husband.¹ The minority view is that it becomes complete only on its consummation.² In early times when post-puberty marriages were in vogue, the difference between the two views was more or less academical, as the consummation followed on the 4th night at the latest. In later times when child marriages became the order of the day, the question assumed a vital importance. If the marriage was incomplete before its consummation, a girl would be at liberty to marry again as a maiden, if her husband died before that event. Society, however, did not unfortunately accept this view, and held that the marriage should be deemed to be complete with the performance of the *saptapadī* As a natural consequence the problem of child widows arose in an acute form when girls began to be married at the age of 8 or 9. We shall discuss it in due course in Chapter V.

c7.s6.15

¹ पाणिग्रहणिका मन्त्रा नियतं दारलक्षणम् । तेषां निष्ठा तु विज्ञेया विवाहातत्सप्तमे पदे। *Manu*, VIII, 227.

c7.s6.16

² विवाहे चैव निवृत्ते चतुर्थेऽहनि रात्रिषु । ৵कत्वमागता भर्तुः पिण्डे गोत्रे च सूतके ॥ Manu as quoted by Chandrakānta on *G. Gr. S.*, II, 3, 13.

Linked texts (8)