Ekottaragama (Sanskrit fragments) 31.8.11

31.8.11

「是時，復作是念：『我宜更入無息禪中。』是時，盡塞諸孔之息。我以塞諸出入息，是時便患頭額痛，如似有人以鑽鑽頭，我亦如是極苦頭痛。爾時，我故有神識，爾時我復作是念：『我今更可坐禪，息氣不得出入。』爾時，我便塞出入息，是時諸息盡集腹中。爾時，息轉時極為少類，猶如屠牛之家，以刀殺牛；我亦如是，極患苦痛。亦如兩健人共執一劣人於火上炙，極患疼痛不可堪忍；我亦如是，此苦疼痛不可具陳。爾時，我猶有神識存，當我爾時坐禪之日，形體不作人色；其中有人見已，而作是說：『此沙門顏色極黑。』有人見已，而作是說：『此沙門顏色似終。』比丘當知，我六年之中作此苦行，不得上尊之法。

“At the time, I had another thought, ‘It would be suitable for me to meditate without interruption.’ I closed the passages of breathing. Once they were closed, then I was troubled by a feeling in my forehead like someone was drilling into my head. The extreme pain of my headache was like that.

At that point, I therefore had a disembodied consciousness. I thought, ‘Now, I can sit in meditation and not breath in or out.’ I then stopped my inhalation and exhalation and held all my breath in my abdomen.

“When my breath circulated, it was the smallest amount but like a butcher slaughtering a cow with a blade. I was extremely troubled by pain in the same way. It was also like a pair of strong men grabbing a weak man and putting him on burning coals. The extreme pain would be unbearable. My pain and suffering was indescribable in the same way.

“Then, my disembodied consciousness still remained. I would sit in meditation for a day, and my physical form was not that of a man. When people saw me, they would say, ‘This ascetic’s appearance is so dark!’ When other people saw me, they would say, ‘This ascetic’s appearance looks like it’s the end of him.’ Monks, you should know that during those six years of my ascetic practice, I didn’t attain the most honored teaching.