大方便佛報恩經 5.43

5.43

Then the bhikṣuṇī Utpalavarṇā entered samādhi and, through her supernormal power, emitted a great radiance that illuminated Jambudvīpa, summoning devas, nāgas, ghosts, spirits, humans, and non-humans who had karmic affinity. In the midst of the great assembly, she said of herself: "When I was in household life, I was a person of Śrāvastī. My parents married me to a man of the north. According to the customs of that country, when a woman is pregnant and on the verge of giving birth, she returns to her parents' home. In this way, I sequentially bore children over several years, and later became pregnant again. On the day near delivery, riding in carts and on horses, husband and wife accompanying each other, we set off for my parents' home. Midway, there was a river whose waters suddenly surged. The road was vast and deserted, with many perils from bandits. Having reached the river, we were unable to cross and lodged for the night on the riverbank. During the first watch of the night, a sudden pain seized my abdomen, and I sat up. Before long, I gave birth, delivering a baby boy. In the grass on the riverbank, there was a great venomous snake that smelled the scent of fresh blood, and it came toward me. Before it reached where I was, my husband and servant were sleeping on the path. When the snake reached the servant, it immediately bit and killed him; advancing to my husband, my husband slept unaware, and it also bit and killed him. At that time, I cried out and summoned them: 'A snake has come! A snake has come!' I called my husband, but there was no reply; my husband and servant were already dead. At that time, the venomous snake also bit the oxen and horses. When the sun had risen, my husband's body swelled, decomposed, and rotted, his joints fell apart, scattered across the ground. In grief, sorrow, and terror, I fainted and collapsed to the ground; raising my voice, I wept aloud, beating my breast with my hands; I pulled out my hair, and covered my body with dust and dirt. Soon I fainted again, casting my whole body onto the bones. Living in such grief and suffering for several days, alone on the riverbank, the water gradually receded. Carrying the young child and holding him with my hand, and placing the newborn in my skirt, holding it in my mouth, I stepped forward into the water. Right in the middle of the river, I looked back at the older boy and saw a fierce tiger running and chasing after him. As I opened my mouth to cry out, the skirt dropped from my mouth, and the infant sank into the water. I reached out with my hand to grope for him, but in the end did not find him; the child upon my back slipped from my grasp, fell into the water, and soon also sank and was lost; the child on the bank was eaten by the tiger. Seeing this, my heart and liver were torn apart; I spat hot blood and raised my voice in loud weeping: 'Alas! Alas! That I should suddenly suffer this harsh calamity in a single day!' I reached the riverbank, fainted, and collapsed to the ground.