禪關策進 1.44

1.44

山僧十三歲。知有佛法。十八出家。二十二為僧。先到石霜。記得祥菴主教時時觀見鼻頭白。遂得清淨。後有僧。自雪巖來。寫得巖坐禪箴看。我做工夫却不曾從這裏過。因到雪巖。依彼所說做工夫。單提無字。至第四夜通身汗流。十分清爽繼得歸堂。不與人說話。專一坐禪。後見妙高峯。教十二時中莫令有間。四更起來。便摸索話頭。頓在面前。略覺困睡。便起身下地。也是話頭。行時步步不離話頭。開單展鉢。拈匙放箸。隨眾等事。總不離話頭。日間夜間。亦復如是。打成片段。未有不發明者。依峯開示。做工夫。果得成片。三月二十日。巖上堂云。兄弟家久在蒲團上瞌睡。須下地走一遭。冷水盥嗽。洗開兩眼。再上蒲團。竪起脊梁。壁立萬仞。單提話頭。如是用功。七日決定悟去。此是山僧四十年前已用之工。某即依彼所說。便覺工夫異常。第二日。兩眼欲閉而不能閉。第三日。此身如在虛空中行。第四日。曾不知有世間事。其夜倚欄杆少立。泯然無知。檢點話頭。又不打失。轉身上蒲團。忽覺。從頭至足。如劈破髑髏相似。如萬丈井底被提在空中相似。此時無著歡喜處。舉似巖。巖云未在。更去做工夫。求得法語。末後云。紹隆佛祖向上事。腦後依前欠一槌。心下道。如何又欠一槌。不信此語。又似有疑。終不能決。每日堆堆坐禪。將及半載。一日因頭痛煎藥。遇覺赤鼻。問那吒太子拆骨還父拆肉還母話。記得被悟知客問。不能對。忽然打破這疑團。後到蒙山。山問參禪。到甚麼處是畢工處。遂不知頭。山教再做定力工夫。洗盪塵習。每遇入室下語。只道欠在。一日晡時坐至更盡。以定力挨拶。直造幽微。出定見山說此境已。山問。那箇是爾本來面目。正欲下語。山便閉門。自此工夫日有妙處。蓋以離巖太早。不曾做得細密工夫。幸遇本色宗匠。乃得到此。元來工夫做。得緊峭則時時有悟入。步步有剝落。一日見壁上三祖信心銘云。歸根得旨。隨照失宗。又剝了一層。山云。箇事如剝珠相似。愈剝愈光。愈明愈淨。剝一剝。勝他幾生工夫也。但下語猶只道欠在。一日定中。忽觸著欠字。身心豁然。徹骨徹髓。如積雪卒然開霽。忍俊不禁。跳下地來。擒住山云。我欠少箇甚麼。山打三掌。某禮三拜。山云。鉄山這一著子幾年。今日方了○暫時話頭不在。如同死人。一切境界逼迫臨身。但將話頭。與之抵當。時時檢點話頭。動中靜中。得力不得力。又定中不可忘却話頭。忘話頭則成邪定。不得將心待悟。不得文字上取解會。不得些少覺觸以為了事。但教如癡如呆去。佛法世法打成一片。施為舉措只是尋常。惟改舊時行履處。古云。大道從來不屬言。擬談玄妙。隔天淵。直須能所俱忘却。始可饑飡困則眠。

“At thirteen, I learned of the Buddha-Dharma. At eighteen, I left home, and at twenty-two became a monk. I first went to Shishuang, where I remember Master Xiang'an instructed me to constantly contemplate the tip of my nose as white, whereupon I attained purity. Later there was a monk coming from Xueyan who had copied down Yan's ‘Admonition on Sitting Chan’ for me to read; my practice had never passed through this. So I went to Xueyan and applied effort according to what he said, exclusively bringing up the character Wu. By the fourth night, sweat flowed over my entire body, and I felt extraordinarily refreshed. Following that, I was able to return to the communal hall, where I did not speak with people and exclusively sat in Chan.

“Later I met Miaogaofeng, who taught me not to let there be any interruption throughout the twelve periods of the day: ‘Rise at the fourth watch and grope for the huatou, placing it right before you. If you feel slightly weary and sleepy, rise and step onto the floor—it is still the huatou. When walking, step by step do not depart from the huatou. Spreading the mat and unrolling the bowl, picking up the spoon and setting down the chopsticks, following the assembly in various tasks—none of it should depart from the huatou. It is the same during the day and night. If it is fused into one continuous stretch, there has never been one who failed to achieve illumination.’ Applying effort according to Gaofeng's instruction, it indeed became continuous.

“On the twentieth day of the third month, Xueyan ascended the hall and said: ‘Brothers, having dozed on the cushions for a long time, you must step down to the floor and take a turn walking, rinse your mouth with cold water, wash open your two eyes, and get back onto the cushion. Straighten your spine, stand like a precipice ten thousand fathoms high, and single-mindedly bring up the huatou. Applying effort like this, in seven days you are certain to awaken. This is the practice I applied forty years ago.’ I complied with what he said and felt my practice was extraordinary. On the second day, my two eyes wanted to close but could not. On the third day, this body was as if walking in empty space. On the fourth day, I was completely unaware of worldly affairs. That night, leaning against the railing and standing for a brief moment, I was submerged in unknowing; checking my huatou, it was not lost. Turning back to mount the cushion, I suddenly felt that from head to foot it was as if my skull were split open, as if I were pulled up into the air from the bottom of a ten-thousand-fathom well. At this moment, there was no place to contain my joy.

“I presented this to Xueyan. Xueyan said: ‘Not yet. Go apply effort further.’ I requested a Dharma verse; at the end it read: ‘To inherit the sublime matter of the buddhas and patriarchs, / Behind the brain there is still lacking one hammer blow.’ In my mind I thought: ‘Why is there still lacking one hammer blow?’ I did not believe these words, yet seemed to have a doubt, and in the end could not resolve it. Every day I sat in Chan piled up like a mound for nearly half a year. One day, while boiling medicine for a headache, I encountered Jue Chibi, who asked about Prince Nata’s gongan of carving out his bones to return to his father and carving out his flesh to return to his mother. I recalled that when asked by Guest-Prefect Wu I could not answer, and suddenly this ball of doubt was shattered.

“Later I went to Mengshan. Mengshan asked: ‘In investigating Chan, at what point is the work finished?’ Thereupon I did not know the beginning. Mengshan taught me to apply effort in samādhi power again to wash away the habits of dust. Whenever I entered the room and gave a turning word, he would only say: ‘Still lacking.’ One day, sitting from late afternoon until the end of the night watch, using samādhi power to press forward, I penetrated straight into the subtle and profound. Emerging from samādhi, I went to Mengshan and recounted this state. Mengshan asked: ‘Which one is your original face?’ Just as I was about to give a turning word, Mengshan shut the door. From then on, my practice daily had subtle qualities. Because I had left Xueyan too early, I had not done fine and dense practice; fortunately I met a genuine master of the school and was able to reach this.

“Originally, when practice is done tightly and precipitously, then moment by moment there are awakenings, and step by step there are peelings away. One day, seeing the Third Patriarch's *Xinxin ming* on the wall: ‘Returning to the root one gains the principle; following illumination one loses the source’—another layer was peeled away. Mengshan said: ‘This matter is like peeling a pearl: the more it is peeled, the more it shines; the clearer and purer it becomes. Peeling it once surpasses another's effort of several lifetimes.’ Yet when giving a turning word, he still only said: ‘Still lacking.’

“One day in samādhi, I suddenly bumped into the word ‘lacking.’ Body and mind opened wide, penetrating to the bone and marrow, like accumulated snow suddenly clearing under sunlight. Unable to contain my joy, I jumped down to the floor, seized Mengshan, and said: ‘What am I lacking?’ Mengshan struck me three palms; I made three prostrations. Mengshan said: ‘Tieshan, how many years has this matter taken? Only today is it concluded.’

“If for a temporary moment the huatou is absent, you are like a dead man. When all oppressive realms confront your body, simply take the huatou to withstand them. Constantly check the huatou: in motion and in stillness, is strength gained or not gained? Moreover, in samādhi, you must not forget the huatou; forgetting the huatou leads to perverse samādhi. You must not use the mind to wait for awakening; you must not take understanding from texts; you must not consider a little sensory awareness to be the completion of the matter. Just let yourself be like a fool, like an idiot. Buddha-Dharma and worldly phenomena are fused into one whole; your actions and conduct are merely ordinary, only changing the ground of your former footsteps. The ancients said: ‘The Great Way has never belonged to words; / Intending to speak of the mysterious and sublime, one is separated by heaven and the abyss. / One must directly forget both subject and object / Before one may eat when hungry and sleep when weary.’”