釋門自鏡錄 1.12

1.12

Formerly, the Dharma-transmitting sage Jayata was entering a city with his disciples. Reaching the gate, he looked sad and displeased. Proceeding a little further along the road, he saw a crow and suddenly smiled faintly. The disciples wondered and asked about it, whereupon he answered, saying: 'Earlier, beneath the gate, I saw a hungry ghost child, starved, desperate, emaciated, and weak, who said of himself: "After my mother gave birth to me, she entered the city to seek food. Since we parted, five hundred years have passed; starved, empty, and destitute, my life will not last long." When I saw his mother, I fully recounted the child's message. The mother said: "I departed to enter the city and for a long time have sought food without obtaining any. Even if I obtained a little spittle, powerful ghosts snatched it away. Only today did I happen upon a person who vomited, with no other ghosts at his side, and I wished to give it to my child. However, beneath the gate there are many ghosts and spirits, and fearing it would be snatched away, I dared not carry it out. I wish the Venerable One would mercifully shelter me and take me out of the city, so that I may share the mucus and spittle I carry with my child." I also asked her: "How long have you lived?" She replied, saying: "I have seen this city form and disintegrate seven times." Hearing her words, I deeply lamented that saṃsāra is without boundary; therefore I furrowed my brow, looking sad and unhappy. Moreover, ninety-one eons ago in the past, I was at that time the son of an elder, and earnestly wished to renounce the household life, turning away from worldly desires. If I had renounced the household life, I would surely have severed all fetters and become an arhat. But because my parents would not comply with my wish, they forcibly arranged a wife for me, hoping to continue the lineage. Having failed to avoid it, I took a wife and fathered a son, and again sought to renounce the household life. When the child was six years old, the parents instructed the child: "If your father takes leave of us wishing to renounce the household life, you should hold his feet and say to your father: 'If you abandon me and leave, who will support me? You should first kill me, and only then may you leave.'" When I saw the child holding me, I gave rise to love and attachment, and said to the child: "I now, for your sake, will no longer renounce the household life." Because of this child, I failed to realize the Way. For ninety-one eons I drifted in the five destinies; in these bodies of birth and death, we never encountered each other. Now, with the eye of the Way, I see that he has been born among crows; pitying his infantile folly, it was for this reason that I smiled.'