弘明集 11.44

11.44

貧道弱齡出家。早違俗務。遊心釋風志乖孔教。雖復道場未即故亦洙訓緬矣。方將委質餧獸。庶超九劫之功分肌哺鴿。情存乘雲之馭。寧能垂翼中田反跡籠樊。捨夫塗中之適。嬰茲廟堂之累哉。且夫官人以器位必須才未有叨越分之舉。終能保其榮也。今輒奉還板命。願收過恩。無令曹公重歎王舟再慚。輔秀之召。非所剋堪。釋僧巖呈。

This poor monk left home in youth and early turned away from secular affairs, letting my mind roam in the Śākya breeze, my aspirations departing from the teachings of Confucius. Even though I have not yet attained the seat of awakening, the instruction of the Zhu [River] is likewise distant. I am on the verge of abandoning my body to feed wild beasts, hoping to leap over the merit of nine kalpas; or dividing my flesh to feed a pigeon, my mind dwelling on the chariot riding the clouds. How could I droop my wings in the midmost fields, or retrace my steps into the cage, abandoning the ease of swimming in the mud to incur this encumbrance of the court? Moreover, when employing men according to their capacity, positions must require talent; there has never been one who presumed beyond his lot and was ultimately able to maintain his honour. Now I respectfully return the wooden mandate, praying that your excessive favour be rescinded, so as not to cause Duke Cao to sigh anew or Wang Zhou to feel ashamed once more. The summons to assist as a Cultivated Talent is not what I can overcome and bear. Submitted by the monk Sengyan.