弘明集 11.52

11.52

The recent matter was merely intended to afford a moment's amusement; I never anticipated your gracious and attentive message, nor that fragrant missives would arrive in such rapid succession. That your earnest admonitions should go to such lengths as this! Bowing to read it, before I had finished, feelings of shame and perspiration mingled. However, my humble resolve was petty, yet fully disclosed in my previous sincere statements. Furthermore, even when I was in my prime, I lagged behind others; now that I am already old, how could I accomplish anything? As for achieving grand tasks and directing affairs in the twilight of one's years, that was because Heaven specially aided and borrowed the achievements of mortals, assisting heroes who soared like dragons and aiding sovereigns who received the Mandate. Now, to seek to have a farmer of the eastern fields or an old weaver of the western garden step into the brilliant light of former days and follow in the tracks of the ancients is no different from whipping a nag's hooves to match a fine steed, or tying down a marsh pheasant to pair it with luan-birds and swans. How could such an incongruity await deep scrutiny? In the past, Zitai laid down his life out of devotion to Gongsun, wishing to repay an appreciation so deep that dying left him with no regrets. Today, your lavish praise exceeds the virtue of the purest of those two worthies. I only lament that my years advance toward Mount Yanzi and my life hastens to the Mengfan abyss. Swallowing charcoal and turning around the spear are forever severed from my hopes. Facing this paper, filled with sorrow, I know not what to set forth. I hope you will withdraw your excessive regard and not repeat these overtures. Presented by the śramaṇa Sengyan.