廣弘明集 28.168

28.168

弟子沈約稽首。上白諸佛眾聖。約自今生以前至于無始。罪業參差固非詞象所算。識昧往緣莫由證舉。爰始成童有心嗜慾。不識慈悲莫辨罪報。以為毛群魪品事允庖厨。無對之緣非惻隱所及。晨剉暮爚亘月隨年。嗛腹填虛非斯莫可兼。曩昔蒙稚精靈靡達。遨戲之間恣行夭暴。蠢動飛沈罔非登俎。儻相逢值橫加剿撲。却數追念種彙寔蕃。遠憶相間難或詳盡。又暑月寢臥蚊虻噆膚。忿之于心應之于手。歲所殲殞略盈萬計。手因忿運命因手傾。為殺之道事無不足。迄至于今猶未頓免。又嘗竭水而漁躬。事網罭。牽驅事卒歡娛賞會。若斯等輩眾夥非一。黨隷賓遊𮘧眚交互。或盜人園實。或攘人豢養。弱性蒙心隨喜贊悅。受分吞贓皎然不昧。性愛墳典。苟得忘廉取非其有。卷將二百。又綺語者眾源條繁廣假妄之愆。雖免大過。微觸細犯。亦難備陳。又追尋少年。血氣方壯。習累所纏事難排壑。淇水上宮誠無云幾。分桃斷袖亦足稱多。此實生死牢穽未易洗。灌志有慘舒性所同稟。遷怒過直有時或然。厲色嚴聲無日可免。又言謔行止曾不尋研。觸過斯發動淪無記。終朝紛擾薄暮不休。來果昏頑將由此作。前念甫謝後念復興。尺波不息寸陰驟往。愧悔攢心罔知云厝。今於十方三世諸佛前見在眾僧大眾前。誓心剋已追自悔責。收遜前愆洗濯念慮。校身諸失歸命天尊。又尋七尺所本。八微是構。析而離之莫知其主。雖造業者身身隨念滅。而念念相生離續無已。往所行惡造既由心。行惡之時其心既染。既染之心雖與念滅。往之所染即成後緣。若不本諸真諦以空滅有。則染心之累不卒可磨。今者興此愧悔磨昔所染。所染得除即空成性。其性既空庶罪無所託。布髮頂禮幽顯證成。此念一成相續不斷。日磨歲瑩生生不休。迄至道場無復退轉。又彼惡加我。皆由我昔加人。不滅此重緣則來惡彌遘。當今斷絕永息來緣。道無不在。有來斯應。庶𮒖今誠要之咸達。

Your disciple Shen Yue bows his head and addresses the Buddhas and all the sages. From my life prior to this one back to beginninless time, my sinful karma has been jagged and uneven, truly beyond the calculation of words and images. My consciousness is benighted regarding past conditions, with no way to adduce proof. When I first grew into youth, my mind developed cravings and desires. Not recognizing compassion, unable to discern retributions for sin, I considered that furred beasts and scaled creatures were properly suited to the kitchen. Lacking conditions of mutual confrontation, they were beyond the reach of my sympathy. Mincing in the morning, boiling in the evening, this continued through months and years; to satisfy the belly and fill the emptiness, nothing could do but this. In addition, when I was ignorant and childish in the past, my intelligence was not yet developed; in moments of playful wandering, I gave free rein to wanton cruelty. Whether wriggling, flying, or diving, none failed to end up on the sacrificial vessel. If by chance I encountered them, I strike and slay them arbitrarily. Thinking back and recollecting them, their kinds are truly numerous; remembering from afar across the intervals, it is difficult to detail them fully. Moreover, during the summer months when lying in bed, mosquitoes and horseflies bit my skin; anger arose in my heart and was answered by my hand. Those annihilated in a year numbered well over ten thousand. The hand moved on account of anger, and lives were destroyed on account of the hand. In practicing the way of killing, nothing was left undone. Even up to the present, I have still not suddenly freed myself from it. Furthermore, I once drained water to fish, personally handling nets and dragnets, driving laborers in pursuit of joy and entertainment. Instances such as these are numerous and not singular. Among retainers, servants, guests, and associates, faults and transgressions were interwoven: some stole fruits from other people's orchards, or seized animals raised by others; with my weak nature and benighted mind, I rejoiced in sympathy and praised them, receiving my share and swallowing the loot, clearly without ignorance [of the deed]. By nature fond of ancient classics, when obtaining them, I forgot honesty and took what was not mine, amounting to nearly two hundred scrolls. In addition, frivolous words were numerous, their springs and branches broad and wide; though I avoided great misdeeds regarding the fault of falsehood, in subtle touches and tiny violations, they are also difficult to set forth completely. Furthermore, recalling my youth, when physical vitality was in its prime, entangled in accumulated habits, such matters were difficult to repel. As for the Qi River and the upper chambers, they were truly not few; dividing the peach and cutting the sleeve were also quite numerous. These are truly deep pitfalls of birth and death, not easily washed away. My mind has moods of sorrow and ease, which is common to my inborn nature; shifting anger and overstepping rectitude occurred at times; stern looks and harsh voices were avoided on no single day. Moreover, in joking speech and conduct, I never scrutinized them; touching upon transgressions, they arose, and when initiated, they sank into the indeterminate. Distracted all through the morning, never ceasing till twilight, the dullness and obstinacy of future fruits will arise from this. Just as the preceding thought expires, the subsequent thought arises again; feet-long waves do not rest, inches of time swiftly pass. With shame and regret crowding my heart, I know not where to settle myself. Now, before all the Buddhas of the ten directions and the three times, and before the great assembly of the present sangha, I vow with my mind to master myself, trace back and reprimand myself, gather up and discard past transgressions, wash clean my thoughts and reflections, examine the various faults of my person, and take refuge in the Heavenly Honoured Ones. Furthermore, examining the origin of this seven-foot body, it is structured from the eight subtle particles; dissecting and separating them, one knows not their master. Although the body that creates karma perishes along with the thoughts, thought after thought gives rise to one another, separating and continuing without end. The evil deeds committed in the past arose from the mind; when committing evil, the mind was already defiled. Although the defiled mind perishes with the thought, the past defilement becomes the subsequent condition. If one does not base oneself on the ultimate truth to extinguish existence through emptiness, then the burden of the defiled mind cannot be quickly wiped away. Now, by giving rise to this shame and remorse to polish away past defilements, once the defilements are eradicated, emptiness will become nature. Once its nature is empty, all sins have nothing to rely upon. Spreading my hair and bowing with the crown of my head, let the unseen and the visible bear witness. Once this thought is accomplished, let it continue uninterruptedly, polished daily and lustrous yearly, unceasing life after life, until reaching the place of enlightenment without further falling back. Furthermore, that evil is inflicted upon me is entirely because I previously inflicted it on others. If I do not extinguish this manifold condition, then future evils will increasingly be met. At this present moment, I sever it and forever rest future conditions. The Way is nowhere absent; whenever there is an approach, it responds. I hope this present sincerity will entirely reach it.