法苑珠林 22.25

22.25

As the *Saṃyuktaratnapiṭaka-sūtra* states, in the past there was a woman who was extraordinarily beautiful and refined. She left home to practice the way within a non-Buddhist tradition. People of that time asked her, “With an appearance like this, you ought to remain in secular life. Why have you left home?” The woman answered, “It is not that I am not beautiful today, but from childhood I have loathed sensual desire. This is why I have now left home. When I was living as a householder, because of my beauty I was arranged in marriage early and bore a son at a young age. My son grew up to be incomparably handsome. Gradually he grew emaciated and weakened, appearing as if sick. I asked my son about the cause and nature of his illness, but he was unwilling to speak. Because I questioned him incessantly, having no other choice, the son told his mother, ‘If I do not speak, I fear my life will not be preserved; yet if I merely wish to describe it in full, it is utterly shameless.’ He then told his mother, ‘I desire to obtain you, Mother, for my private lust. It is because I cannot obtain [you] that I have fallen ill.’ His mother then said to him, ‘Since ancient times, how could there ever be such a thing?’ Yet she thought to herself, ‘If I do not comply, my son may die. Now I would rather violate moral principle to save my son's life.’ Thereupon she summoned her son, intending to comply with his desire. As the son was about to mount the bed, the earth suddenly split open, and my son sank into it in his living body. I was terrified, and pulling at my son with my hands, I caught hold of his hair. Even today my son's hair is still kept in my bosom. Deeply moved and pierced by this event, I therefore left home.”