釋氏要覽 3.406

3.406

弔者至也。詩云。神弔矣。五杉集中。弔儀甚備可檢行用○南山鈔云。行弔人小於亡者至尸所設禮（多云僧亡戒捨不得禮拜若爾南山大師却云小於亡者至尸設禮又經中比丘化為蛇佛令有此比丘禮拜今詳必是長於亡者不禮爾）。後執弟子手而慰問。然後至其師所。依法弔之（記云。弟子即亡僧弟子也以其荒迷故。執其手其師即亡僧二師也）。曲禮云。知生者弔。知死者傷。涅槃經。佛滅度人天大眾。咸曰。何期苦哉。何期苦哉。此似傷辭也。若俗舍婦人處女寡女非是宗親不可傷之禮所以別嫌疑也。

"To condole (diào)" means to arrive. The Book of Songs says: "The spirits have arrived (diào)." The condolence rituals in the Wushan ji are very complete and can be consulted and used. / The Nanshan Commentary says: "The person offering condolences who is junior to the deceased goes to the place of the corpse and performs salutations. (Many say that when a monk dies, his precepts are relinquished and he cannot be bowed to. If so, why would Master Nanshan say that one junior to the deceased goes to the corpse and performs salutations? Moreover, in the sūtra where a monk transformed into a snake, the Buddha ordered a monk to bow to him. Now, examining this carefully, it must simply be that those senior to the deceased do not bow.) Afterwards, he takes the disciples by the hand and comforts them. Then he goes to the master's place and offers condolences according to the ritual." (The Commentary says: "The disciples are the disciples of the deceased monk; because they are bewildered with grief, he takes them by the hand. His master means the two preceptors of the deceased monk.") The Quli says: "To those who knew the living, one offers condolences; for those who knew the deceased, one laments." In the Nirvāṇa Sūtra, when the Buddha attained extinction, the great assembly of humans and devas all said: "How could it be so bitter! How could it be so bitter!" This resembles words of lamentation. If in a secular household there are wives, maidens, or widows who are not clan kin, one must not lament for them; the rites serve to distinguish grounds for suspicion.