Mahabharata 5.173.2

5.173.2

na ca śakyaṃ punargantuṃ mayā vāraṇasāhvayam |
anujñātāsmi bhīṣmeṇa śālvamuddiśya kāraṇam || 2 ||

"Bhishma said, 'Issuing out of the city, Amva reflected sorrowfully in this strain. 'There is not in the whole world a young woman in such a miserable plight as I! Alas, destitute of friends, I am rejected by Salwa also! I cannot go back to the city named after an elephant, for I was permitted by Bhishma to leave that city, expectant of Salwa! Whom then shall I blame? Myself? Or, the invincible Bhishma? Or, that foolish father of mine who made arrangements for my self-choice? Perhaps, it is my own fault! Why did I not leap down before from Bhishma's car, when that fierce battle took place, for coming to Salwa? That I am so afflicted now, as if deprived of my senses, is the fruit of that omission of mine! Cursed be Bhishma! Cursed be my own wretched father of foolish understanding, who had arranged prowess to be my dower, sending me out as if I were a woman (disposed) for a consideration! Cursed be myself! Cursed be king Salwa himself and cursed be my creator too! Cursed be they through whose fault such great misery hath been mine! Human beings always suffer what is destined for them. The cause, however, of my present affliction is Bhishma, the son of Santanu; I, therefore, see that at present my vengeance should fall upon him, either through ascetic austerities or by battle, for he is the cause of my woe! But what king is there that would venture to vanquish Bhishma in battle? Having settled this, she issued out of the city for repairing to an asylum of the high-souled ascetics of virtuous deeds. The night she stayed there, surrounded by those ascetics. And that lady of sweet smiles told those ascetics, O Bharata, all that had happened to herself with the minutest details, O mighty-armed one, about her abduction, and her rejection by Salwa.'