Kamasutra 3

3.1

varaṇasaṃvidhānam saṃbandhaniścayaḥ ca

On Marriage

3.1.1

savarṇāyām ananyapūrvāyāṃ śāstrato 'dhigatāyāṃ dharmo 'rthaḥ putrāḥ saṃbandhaḥ pakṣavṛddhir anupaskṛtā ratiś ca//

When a girl of the same caste, and a virgin, is married in accordance with the precepts of Holy Writ, the results of such an union are: the acquisition of Dharma and Artha, offspring, affinity, increase of friends, and untarnished love. For this reason a man should fix his affections upon a girl who is of good family, whose parents are alive, and who is three years or more younger than himself. She should be born of a highly respectable family, possessed of wealth, well connected, and with many relations and friends. She should also be beautiful, of a good disposition, with lucky marks on her body, and with good hair, nails, teeth, ears, eyes, and breasts, neither more nor less than they ought to be, and no one of them entirely wanting, and not troubled with a sickly body. The man should, of course, also possess these qualities himself. But at all events, says Ghotakamukha, a girl who has been already joined with others (i.e., no longer a maiden) should never be loved, for it would be reproachable to do such a thing.

3.1.2

tasmāt kanyām abhijanopetāṃ mātāpitṛmatīṃ trivarṣāt prabhṛti nyūnavayasaṃ ślāghyācāre dhanavati pakṣavati kule saṃbandhipriye saṃbandhibhir ākule prasūtāṃ prabhūtamātṛpitṛpakṣāṃ rūpaśīlalakṣaṇasaṃpannām anyūnādhikāvinaṣṭadantanakhakarṇakeśākṣi^stanīm arogiprakṛtiśarīrāṃ tathāvidha eva śrutavāñ śīlayet//

3.1.3

yāṃ gṛhītvā kṛtinam ātmānaṃ manyeta na ca samānair nindyeta tasyāṃ pravṛttir iti ghoṭakamukhaḥ//

3.1.4

tasyā varaṇe mātāpitarau saṃbandhinaś ca prayateran/ mitrāṇi ca gṛhītavākyāny ubhayasaṃbaddhāni//

Now in order to bring about a marriage with such a girl as described above, the parents and relations of the man should exert themselves, as also such friends on both sides as may be desired to assist in the matter. These friends should bring to the notice of the girl's parents, the faults, both present and future, of all the other men who may wish to marry her, and should at the same time extol even to exaggeration all the excellences, ancestral and paternal, of their friend, so as to endear him to them, and particularly to those that may be liked by the girl's mother. One of the friends should also disguise himself as an astrologer, and declare the future good fortune and wealth of his friend by showing the existence of all the lucky omens and signs, the good influence of planets, the auspicious entrance of the sun into a sign of the Zodiac, propitious stars and fortunate marks on his body. Others again should rouse the jealousy of the girl’s mother by telling her that their friend has a chance of getting from some other quarter even a better girl than hers.

3.1.5

tāny anyeṣāṃ varayitṝṇāṃ doṣān pratyakṣānāgamikāṃś ca śrāvayeyuḥ/ kaulān pauruṣeyān abhiprāyasaṃvardhakāṃś ca nāyakaguṇān/ viśeṣataś ca kanyāmātur anukūlāṃs tadātvāyatiyuktān darśayeyuḥ//

3.1.6

daivacintakarūpaś ca śakunanimittagrahalagnabalalakṣaṇadarśanena nāyakasya bhaviṣyantam arthasaṃyogaṃ kalyāṇam anuvarṇayet//

3.1.7

apare punar asyānyato viśiṣṭena kanyālābhena kanyāmātaram unmādayeyuḥ//

3.1.8

daivanimittaśakunopaśrutīnām ānulomyena kanyāṃ varayed dadyāc ca//

A girl should be taken as a wife, as also given in marriage, when fortune, signs, omens, and the words of others are favorable, for, says Ghotakamukha, a man should not marry at any time he likes. A girl who is asleep, crying, or gone out of the house when sought in marriage, or who is betrothed to another, should not be married. The following also should be avoided.

3.1.9

na yadṛcchayā kevalamānuṣāyeti ghoṭakamukhaḥ//

3.1.10

suptāṃ rudatīṃ niṣkrāntāṃ varaṇe parivarjayet/

3.1.11

apraśastanāmadheyāṃ ca guptāṃ dattāṃ ghonāṃ pṛṣatām ṛṣabhāṃ vinatāṃ vikaṭāṃ vimuṇḍāṃ śucidūṣitāṃ sāṃkarikīṃ rākāṃ phalīnīṃ mitrāṃ svanujām varṣakarīṃ ca varjayet//

One who is kept concealed.

One who has an ill-sounding name.

One who has her nose depressed.

One who has her nostril turned up.

One who is formed like a male.

One who is bent down.

One who has crooked thighs.

One who has a projecting forehead.

One who has a bald head.

One who does not like purity.

One who has been polluted by another.

One who is affected with the Gulma.

One who is disfigured in any way.

One who has fully arrived at puberty.

One who is a friend.

One who is a younger sister.

One who is a Varshakari.

3.1.12

nakṣatrākhyāṃ nadīnāmnīṃ vṛkṣanāmnīṃ ca garhitām/
lakārarephopāntāṃ ca varaṇe parivarjayet//

In the same way a girl who is called by the name of one of the twenty-seven stars, or by the name of a tree, or of a river, is considered worthless, as also a girl whose name ends in “r” or “l.” But some authors say that prosperity is gained only by marrying that girl to whom one becomes attached, and that therefore no other girl but the one who is loved should be married by anyone.

3.1.13

yasyāṃ manaś cakṣuṣor nibandhas tasyām ṛddhiḥ/ netarām ādriyeta/ ity eke//

3.1.14

tasmāt pradānasamaye kanyām udāraveṣāṃ sthāpayeyuḥ/ aparāhṇikaṃ ca nityaṃ prasādhitāyāḥ sakhībhiḥ saha krīḍā/ yajñavivāhādiṣu janasaṃdrāveṣu prāyatnikaṃ darśanam/ tathotsaveṣu ca/ paṇyasadharmatvāt//

When a girl becomes marriageable her parents should dress her smartly, and should place her where she can be easily seen by all. Every afternoon, having dressed her and decorated her in a becoming manner, they should send her with her female companions to sports, sacrifices, and marriage ceremonies, and thus show her to advantage in society, because she is a kind of merchandise. They should also receive with kinds words and signs of friendliness those of an auspicious appearance who may come accompanied by their friends and relations for the purpose of marrying their daughter, and under some pretext or other having first dressed her becomingly, should then present her to them. After this they should await the pleasure of fortune, and with this object should appoint a future day on which a determination could be come to with regard to their daughter’s marriage. On this occasion when the persons have come, the parents of the girl should ask them to bathe and dine, and should say, “Everything will take place at the proper time,” and should not then comply with the request, but should settle the matter later.

3.1.15

varaṇārtham upagatāṃś ca bhadradarśanān pradakṣiṇavācaś ca tatsaṃbandhisaṃgatān puruṣān maṅgalaiḥ pratigṛhṇīyuḥ/

3.1.16

kanyāṃ caiṣām alaṃkṛtām anyāpadeśena darśayeyuḥ/

3.1.17

daivaṃ parīkṣaṇaṃ cāvadhiṃ sthāpayeyuḥ/ ā pradānaniścayāt//

3.1.18

snānādiṣu niyujyamānā varayitāraḥ sarvaṃ bhaviṣyatīty uktvā na tad ahar evābhyupagaccheyuḥ//

3.1.19

deśapravṛttisātmyād vā brāhmaprājāpatyārṣadaivānām anyatamena vivāhena śāstrataḥ pariṇayet/ iti varaṇavidhānam// bhavanti cātra ślokāḥ ---

When a girl is thus acquired either according to the custom of the country, or according to his own desire, the man should marry her in accordance with the precepts of the Holy Writ, according to one of the four kinds of marriage.

Thus ends marriage.

There are also some verses on the subject as follows:

3.1.20

samasyādyāḥ sahakrīḍā vivāhāḥ saṃgatāni ca/
samānair eva kāryāṇi nottamair nāpi vādhamaiḥ//

Amusement in society, such as completing verses begun by others, marriages, and auspicious ceremonies should be carried on neither with superiors, nor inferiors, but with our equals. That should be known as a high connection when a man, after marrying a girl, has to serve her and her relations afterwards like a servant, and such a connection is censured by the good. On the other hand, that reproachable connection, where a man, together with his relations, lords it over his wife, is called a low connection by the wise. But when both the man and the women afford mutual pleasure to each other, and where the relatives on both sides pay respect to one another, such is called a connection in the proper sense of the word. Therefore a man should contract neither a high connection by which he is obliged to bow down afterwards to his kinsmen, nor a low connection, which is universally reprehended by all.

3.1.21

kanyāṃ gṛhītvā varteta preṣyavad yatra nāyakaḥ/
taṃ vidyād uccasaṃbandhaṃ parityaktaṃ manasvibhiḥ//

3.1.22

svāmivad vicared yatra bāndhavaiḥ svaiḥ puraskṛtaḥ/
aślāghyo hīnasaṃbandhaḥ so 'pi sadbhir vinindyate//

3.1.23

parasparasukhāsvādā krīḍā yatra prayujyate/
viśeṣayantī cānyonyaṃ saṃbandhaḥ sa vidhīyate//

3.1.24

kṛtvāpi coccasaṃbandhaṃ paścāj jñātiṣu saṃnamet/
na tv eva hīnasaṃbandhaṃ kuryāt sadbhir vininditam//

3.2

kanyāvisrambhaṇam

Of Creating Confidence in the Girl.

3.2.1

saṃgatayos trirātram adhaḥ śayyā brahmacaryaṃ kṣāralavaṇavarjam āhāras tathā saptāhaṃ satūryamaṅgalasnānaṃ prasādhanaṃ sahabhojanaṃ ca prekṣā saṃbandhināṃ ca pūjanam/ iti sārvavarṇikam//

For the first three days after marriage, the girl and her husband should sleep on the floor, abstain from sexual pleasures, and eat their food without seasoning it either with alkali or salt. For the next seven days they should bathe amidst the sounds of auspicious musical instruments, should decorate themselves, dine together, and pay attention to their relations as well as to those who may have come to witness their marriage. This is applicable to persons of all castes. On the night of the tenth day the man should begin in a lonely place with soft words, and thus create confidence in the girl. Some authors say that for the purpose of winning her over he should not speak to her for three days, but the followers of Babhravya are of opinion that if the man does not speak with her for three days, the girl may be discouraged by seeing him spiritless like a pillar, and, becoming dejected, she may begin to despise him as a eunuch. Vatsyayana says that the man should begin to win her over, and to create confidence in her, but should abstain at first from sexual pleasures. Women being of a tender nature, want tender beginnings, and when they are forcibly approached by men with whom they are but slightly acquainted, they sometimes suddenly become haters of sexual connection, and sometimes even haters of the male sex. The man should therefore approach the girl according to her liking, and should make use of those devices by which he may be able to establish himself more and more into her confidence. These devices are as follows:—

3.2.2

tasminn etāṃ niśi vijane mṛdubhir upacārair upakrameta//

3.2.3

trirātram avacanaṃ hi stambham iva nāyakaṃ paśyantī kanyā nirvidyeta paribhavec ca tṛtīyām iva prakṛtim/ iti bābhravīyāḥ//

3.2.4

upakrameta visrambhayec ca, na tu brahmacaryam ativarteta/ iti vātsyāyanaḥ//

3.2.5

upakramamāṇaś ca na prasahya kiṃcid ācaret//

3.2.6

kusumasadharmāṇo hi yoṣitaḥ sukumāropakramāḥ/ tās tv anadhigataviśvāsaiḥ prasabham upakramyamāṇāḥ saṃprayogadveṣiṇyo bhavanti/ tasmāt sāmnaivopacaret//

3.2.7

yuktyāpi tu yataḥ prasaram upalabhet tenaivānu praviśet//

3.2.8

tat priyeṇāliṅganenācaritena/ nātikālatvāt//

He should embrace her first of all in the way she likes most, because it does not last for a long time.

3.2.9

pūrvakāyeṇa copakramet/ viṣahyatvāt//

He should embrace her with the upper part of his body, because that is easier and simpler. If the girl is grown up, or if the man has known her for some time, he may embrace her by the light of a lamp, but if he is not well acquainted with her, or if she is a young girl, he should then embrace her in darkness.

3.2.10

dīpāloke vigāḍhayauvanāyāḥ pūrvasaṃstutāyāḥ/ bālāyā apūrvāyāś cāndhakāre//

3.2.11

aṅgīkṛtapariṣvaṅgāyāś ca vadanena tāmbūladānam/ tad apratipadyamānāṃ ca sāntvanair vākyaiḥ śapathaiḥ pratiyācitaiḥ pādapatanaiś ca grāhayet/ vrīḍāyuktāpi yoṣid atyantakruddhāpi na pādapatanam ativartate iti sārvatrikam//

When the girl accepts the embrace, the man should put a "tambula" or screw of betel nut and betel leaves in her mouth, and if she will not take it, he should induce her to do so by conciliatory words, entreaties, oaths, and kneeling at her feet, for it is an universal rule that however bashful or angry a woman may be, she never disregards a man’s kneeling at her feet. At the time of giving this “tambula” he should kiss her mouth softly and gracefully without making any sound. When she is gained over in this respect he should then make her talk, and so that she may be induced to talk he should ask her questions about things of which he knows or pretends to know nothing, and which can be answered in a few words. If she does not speak to him, he should not frighten her, but should ask her the same thing again and again in a conciliatory manner. If she does not then speak he should urge her to give a reply, because as Ghotakamukha says, “all girls hear everything said to them by men, but do not themselves sometimes say a single word.” When she is thus importuned, the girl should give replies by shakes of the head, but if she quarrelled with the man she should not even do that. When she is asked by the man whether she wishes for him, and whether she likes him, she should remain silent for a long time, and when at last importuned to reply, should give him a favorable answer by a nod of her head. If the man is previously acquainted with the girl he should converse with her by means of a female friend, who may be favorable to him, and in the confidence of both, and carry on the conversation on both sides. On such an occasion the girl should smile with her head bent down, and if the female friend say more on her part than she was desired to do, she should chide her and dispute with her. The female friend should say in jest even what she is not desired to say by the girl, and add, “she says so,” on which the girl should say indistintly and prettly, “Oh no! I did not say so,” and she should then smile and throw an occasional glance towards the man.

3.2.12

tad dānaprasaṅgeṇa mṛdu viśadam akāhalam asyāś cumbanam/

3.2.13

tatra siddhām ālāpayet/

3.2.14

tac chravaṇārthaṃ yat kiṃ cid alpākṣarābhidheyam ajānann iva pṛcchet/

3.2.15

tatra niṣpratipattim anudvejayan sāntvanā yuktaṃ bahuśa eva pṛcchet/

3.2.16

*tatrāpy avadantīṃ nirbadhnīyāt//

3.2.17

sarvā eva hi kanyāḥ puruṣeṇa prayujyamānaṃ vacanaṃ viṣahante/ na tu laghumiśrām api vācaṃ vadanti/ iti ghoṭakamukhaḥ//

3.2.18

nirbadhyamānā tu śiraḥ kampena prativacanāni yojayet/ kalahe tu na śiraḥ kampayet//

3.2.19

icchasi māṃ necchasi vā kiṃ te 'haṃ rucito na rucito veti pṛṣṭā ciraṃ sthitvā nirbadhyamānā tadānukūlyena śiraḥ kampayet/ prapañcyamānā tu vivadet//

3.2.20

saṃstutā cet sakhīm anukūlām ubhayato 'pi visrabdhāṃ tām antarā kṛtvā kathāṃ yojayet/ tasminn adhomukhī vihaset/ tāṃ cātivādinīm adhikṣiped vivadec ca/ sā tu parihāsārtham idam anayoktam iti cānuktam api brūyāt/ tatra tām apanudya prativacanārtham abhyarthyamānā tūṣṇīm āsīta/ nirbadhyamānā tu nāham evaṃ bravīmīty avyaktākṣaram
anavasitārthaṃ vacanaṃ brūyāt/ nāyakaṃ ca vihasantī kadā cit kaṭākṣaiḥ prekṣeta/ ity ālāpayojanam//

3.2.21

evaṃ jātaparicayā cānirvadantī tat samīpe yācitaṃ tāmbūlaṃ vilepanaṃ srajaṃ nidadhyāt/ uttarīye vāsya nibadhnīyāt/

If the girl is familiar with the man, she should place near him, without saying anything, the tambula, the ointment, or the garland that he may have asked for, or she may tie them up in his upper garment. While she is engaged in this, the man should touch her young breasts in the sounding way of pressing with the nails, and if she prevents him doing this he should say to her, “I will not do it again if you will embrace me,” and should in this way cause her to embrace him. While he is being embraced by her he should pass his hand repeatedly over and about her body. By and by he should place her in his lap, and try more and more to gain her consent, and if she will not yield to him he should frighten her by saying, "I shall impress marks of my teeth and nails on your lips and breasts, and then make similar marks on my own body, and shall tell my friends that you did them. What will you say then?" In this and other ways, as fear and confidence are created in the minds of children, so should the man gain her over to his wishes.

3.2.22

tathā yuktām ācchuritakena stanamukulayor upari spṛśet/

3.2.23

vāryamāṇaś ca tvam api māṃ pariṣvajasva tato naivam ācariṣyāmīti sthityā pariṣvañjayet/ svaṃ ca hastam ā nābhideśāt prasārya nirvartayet/ krameṇa cainām utsaṅgam āropyādhikam adhikam upakramet/ apratipadyamānāṃ ca bhīṣayet//

3.2.24

ahaṃ khalu tava dantapadāny adhare kariṣyāmi stanapṛṣṭhe ca nakhapadam/ ātmanaś ca svayaṃ kṛtvā tvayā kṛtam iti te sakhījanasya purataḥ kathayiṣyāmi/ sā tvaṃ kim atra vakṣyasīti bālavibhīṣikair bālapratyāyanaiś ca śanair enāṃ pratārayet/

3.2.25

dvitīyasyāṃ tṛtīyasyāṃ ca rātrau kiṃ cid adhikaṃ visrambhitāṃ hastena yojayet//

On the second and third nights, after her confidence has increased still more, he should feel the whole of her body with his hands, and kiss her all over; he should also place his hands upon her thighs and if he succeed in this he should then shampoo the joints of her thighs. If she tries to prevent him doing this he should say to her, "What harm is there in doing it?" and should persuade her to let him do it. After gaining this point he should touch her private parts, should loosen her girdle and the knot of her dress, and turning up her lower garment should shampoo the joints of her naked thighs. Under various pretences he should do all these things, but he should not at that time begin actual congress. After this he should teach her the sixty-four arts, should tell her how much he loves her, and describe to her the hopes which he formerly entertained regarding her. He should also promise to be faithful to her in future, and should dispel all her fears with respect to rival women, and, at last, after having overcome her bashfulness, he should begin to enjoy her in a way so as not to frighten her. So much about creating confidence in the girl; and there are, moreover, some verses on the subject as follows:—

3.2.26

sarvāṅgikaṃ cumbanam upakrameta//

3.2.27

ūrvoś copari vinyastahastaḥ saṃvāhanakriyāyāṃ siddhāyāṃ krameṇorumūlam api saṃvāhayet/ nivārite saṃvāhane ko doṣa ity ākulayed enām/ tac ca sthirīkuryāt/ tatra siddhāyā guhyadeśābhimarśanaṃ

3.2.28

raśanāviyojanaṃ nīvī^*visraṃsanaṃ vasanaparivartanam ūrumūlasaṃvāhanaṃ ca/ ete cāsyānyāpadeśāḥ/ yuktayantrāṃ rañjayet/ na tv akāle vratakhaṇḍanam

3.2.29

anuśiṣyāc ca/ ātmānurāgaṃ darśayet/ manorathāṃś ca pūrvakālikān anuvarṇayet/ āyatyāṃ ca tadānukūlyena pravṛttiṃ pratijānīyāt/ sapatnībhyaś ca sādhvasam avacchindyāt/ kālena ca krameṇa vimuktakanyābhāvām anudvejayann upakrameta/ iti kanyāvisrambhaṇam// bhavanti cātra ślokāḥ ---

3.2.30

evaṃ cittānugo bālām upāyena prasādhayet/
tathāsya sānuraktā ca suvisrabdhā prajāyate//

A man acting according to the inclinations of a girl should try and gain her over so that she may love him and place her confidence in him. A man does not succeed either by implicitly following the inclination of a girl, or by wholly opposing her, and he should therefore adopt a middle course. He who knows how to make himself beloved by women, as well as to increase their honor and create confidence in them, this man becomes an object of their love. But he, who neglects a girl thinking she is too bashful, is despised by her as a beast ignorant of the working of the female mind. Moreover, a girl forcibly enjoyed by one who does not understand the hearts of girls becomes nervous, uneasy, and dejected, and suddenly begins to hate the man who has taken advantage of her; and then, when her love is not understood or returned, she sinks into despondency, and becomes either a hater of mankind altogether, or, hating her own man, she has recourse to other men.

3.2.31

nātyantam ānulomyena na cātiprātilomyataḥ/
siddhiṃ gacchati kanyāsu tasmān madhyena sādhayet//

3.2.32

ātmanaḥ prītijananaṃ yoṣitāṃ mānavardhanam/
kanyāvisrambhaṇaṃ vetti yaḥ sa tāsāṃ priyo bhavet//

3.2.33

atilajjānvitety *eyaṃ yas tu kanyām upekṣate/
so 'nabhiprāyavedīti paśuvat paribhūyate//

3.2.34

sahasā vāpy upakrāntā kanyācittam avindatā/
bhayaṃ vitrāsam udvegaṃ sadyo dveṣaṃ ca gacchati//

3.2.35

sā prītiyogam aprāptā tenodvegena dūṣitā/
puruṣadveṣiṇī vā syād vidviṣṭā vā tato 'nyagā//

3.3

bālāyām upakramāḥ iṅgitākārasūcanam ca

On Courtship, and the Manifestation of the Feelings by Outward Signs and Deeds.

3.3.1

dhanahīnas tu guṇayukto 'pi, madhyasthaguṇo hīnāpadeśo vā, sadhano vā prātiveśyaḥ, mātṛpitṛbhrātṛṣu ca paratantraḥ, bālavṛttir ucitapraveśo vā kanyām alabhyatvān na varayet/

A poor man possessed of good qualities, a man born of a low family possessed of mediocre qualities, a neighbor possessed of wealth, and one under the control of his father, mother or brothers, should not marry without endeavoring to gain over a girl from her childhood to love and esteem him. Thus a boy separated from his parents, and living in the house of his uncle, should try to gain over the daughter of his uncle, or some other girl, even though she be previously betrothed to another. And this way of gaining over a girl, says Ghotakamukha, is unexceptionable, because Dharma can be accomplished by means of it, as well as by any other way of marriage.

3.3.2

bālyāt prabhṛti caināṃ svayam evānurañjayet/

3.3.3

tathāyuktaś ca mātulakulānuvartī dakṣiṇāpathe bāla eva mātrā ca pitrā ca viyuktaḥ paribhūtakalpo dhanotkarṣādalabhyāṃ mātuladuhitaram anyasmai vā pūrvadattāṃ sādhayet/

3.3.4

anyām api bāhyāṃ spṛhayet

3.3.5

bālāyām evaṃ sati dharmādhigame saṃvananaṃ ślāghyam iti ghoṭakamukhaḥ//

3.3.6

tayā saha puṣpāvacayaṃ grathanaṃ gṛhakaṃ duhitṛkākrīḍāyojanaṃ bhaktapānakaraṇam iti kurvīta/ paricayasya vayasaś cānurūpyāt/

When a boy has thus begun to woo the girl he loves, he should spend his time with her and and amuse her with various games and diversions fitted for their age and acquaintanceship, such as picking and collecting flowers, making garlands of flowers, playing the parts of members of a fictitious family, cooking food, playing with dice, playing with cards, the game of odd and even, the game of finding out the middle finger, the game of six pebbles, and such other games as may be prevalent in the country, and agreeable to the disposition of the girl. In addition to this, he should carry on various amusing games, played by several persons together, such as hide and seek, playing with seeds, hiding things in several small heaps of wheat and looking for them, blindman's buff, gymnastic exercises, and other games of the same sort in company with the girl, her friends and female attendants. The man should also show great kindness to any woman whom the girl thinks fit to be trusted, and should also make new acquaintances, but above all he should attach to himself by kindness and little services the daughter of the girl's nurse, for if she be gained over, even though she comes to know of his design, she does not cause any obstruction, but is sometimes even able to effect an union between him and the girl. And though she knows the true character of the man, she always talks of his many excellent qualities to the parents and relations of the girl, even though she may not be desired to do so by him.

3.3.7

ākarṣakrīḍā paṭṭikākrīḍā muṣṭidyūtakṣullakādidyūtāni madhyamāṅguligrahaṇaṃ ṣaṭ pāṣāṇakādīni ca deśyāni tat sātmyāt tad āptadāsaceṭikābhis tayā ca sahānukrīḍeta/

3.3.8

kṣveḍitakāni sunimīlitakām ārabdhikāṃ lavaṇavīthikām anilatāḍitakāṃ godhūmapuñjikām aṅgulitāḍitakāṃ sakhībhir anyāni ca deśyāni//

3.3.9

yāṃ ca viśvāsyām asyāṃ manyeta tayā saha nirantarāṃ prītiṃ kuryāt/ paricayāṃś ca budhyeta/

3.3.10

dhātreyikāṃ cāsyāḥ priyahitābhyām adhikam upagṛhṇīyāt/ sā hi prīyamāṇā viditākārāpy apratyādiśantī taṃ tāṃ ca yojayituṃ śaknuyāt/ anabhihitāpi pratyācāryakam/

3.3.11

aviditākārāpi hi guṇān evānurāgāt prakāśayet/ yathā prayojyānurajyeta/

3.3.12

yatra yatra ca kautukaṃ prayojyāyās tad anu praviśya sādhayet/

In this way the man should do whatever the girl takes most delight in, and he should get for her whatever she may have a desire to possess. Thus he should procure for her such playthings as may be hardly known to other girls. He may also show her a ball dyed with various colors, and other curiosities of the same sort; and should give her dolls made of cloth, wood, buffalo-horn, ivory, wax, flour, or earth; also utensils for cooking food, and figures in wood, such as a man and woman standing, a pair of rams, or goats, or sheep; also temples made of earth, bamboo, or wood, dedicated to various goddesses; and cages for parrots, cuckoos, starlings, quails, cocks, and partridges; water-vessels of different sorts and of elegant forms, machines for throwing water about, guitars, stands for putting images upon, stools, lac, red arsenic, yellow ointment, vermilion and collyrium, as well as sandal-wood, saffron, betel nut and betel leaves. Such things should be given at different times whenever he gets a good opportunity of meeting her, and some of them should be given in private, and some in public, according to circumstances. In short, he should try in every way to make her look upon him as one who would do for her everything that she wanted to be done.

3.3.13

krīḍanakadravyāṇi yāny apūrvāṇi yāny anyāsāṃ viralaśo vidyeraṃs tāny asyā ayatnena saṃpādayet/

3.3.14

tatra kandukam anekabhakticitram alpakālāntaritam anyad anyac ca saṃdarśayet/ tathā sūtradārugavalagajadantamayīr duhitṛkā madhūcchiṣṭapiṣṭamṛṇ mayīś ca/

3.3.15

bhaktapākārtham asyā mahān asikasya ca darśanam/

3.3.16

kāṣṭhamedhrakayoś ca saṃyuktayoś ca strīpuṃsayor ajaiḍakānāṃ devakulagṛhakānāṃ mṛd vidalakāṣṭhavinirmitānāṃ śukaparabhṛtamadanasārikālāvakakukkuṭatittiripañjarakāṇāṃ ca vicitrākṛtisaṃyuktānāṃ jalabhājanānāṃ ca yantrikāṇāṃ vīṇikānāṃ paṭolikānām alaktakamanaḥśilāharitālahiṅgulakaśyāmavarṇakādīnāṃ tathā candanakuṅkumayoḥ
pūgaphalānāṃ pattrāṇāṃ kālayuktānāṃ ca śaktiviṣaye pracchannaṃ dānaṃ prakāśadravyāṇāṃ ca prakāśam/ yathā ca sarvābhiprāyasaṃvardhakam enaṃ manyeta tathā prayatitavyam/

3.3.17

vīkṣaṇe ca pracchannam arthayet/ tathā kathāyojanam/

In the next place he should get her to meet him in some place privately, and should then tell her that the reason of his giving presents to her in secret was the fear that the parents of both of them might be displeased, and then he may add that the things which he had given her had been much desired by other people. When her love beings to show signs of increasing he should relate to her agreeable stories if she expresses a wish to hear such narratives. Or if she takes delight in legerdemain, he should amaze her by performing various tricks of jugglery; or if she feels a great curiosity to see a performance of the various arts, he should show his own skill in them. When she is delighted with singing he should entertain her with music, and on certain days, and at the time of going together to moonlight fairs and festivals, and at the time of her return after being absent from home, he should present her with bouquets of flowers, and with chaplets for the head and with ear ornaments and rings, for these are the proper occasions on which such things should be presented.

3.3.18

pracchannadānasya tu kāraṇam ātmano gurujanād bhayaṃ khyāpayet/ deyasya cānyena spṛhaṇīyatvam iti/

3.3.19

vardhamānānurāgaṃ cākhyānake manaḥ kurvatīm anvarthābhiḥ kathābhiś cittahāriṇībhiś ca rañjayet/

3.3.20

vismayeṣu prasahyamānām indrajālaiḥ prayogair vismāpayet/ kalāsu kautukinīṃ tat kauśalena gītapriyāṃ śrutiharair gītaiḥ/ āśvayujyām aṣṭamīcandrake kaumudyām utsaveṣu yātrāyāṃ grahaṇe gṛhācāre vā vicitrair āpīḍaiḥ *karṇapattrabhaṅgaiḥ sikthakapradhānair vastrāṅgulīyakabhūṣaṇadānaiś ca/ no ced doṣakarāṇi manyeta/

3.3.21

anyapuruṣaviśeṣābhijñatayā dhātreyikāsyāḥ puruṣapravṛttau cātuḥṣaṣṭikān yogān grāhayet/

He should also teach the daughter of the girl's nurse all the sixty-four means of pleasure practiced by men, and under this pretext should also inform her of his great skill in the art of sexual enjoyment. All this time he should wear a fine dress, and make as good an appearance as possible, for young women love men who live with them, and who are handsome, good looking, and well dressed. As for the saying that though women may fall in love, they still make no effort themselves to gain over the object of their affections, that is only a matter of idle talk.

3.3.22

tad grahaṇopadeśena ca prayojyāyāṃ ratikauśalam ātmanaḥ prakāśayet/

3.3.23

udāraveṣaś ca svayam anupahatadarśanaś syāt/ bhāvaṃ ca kurvatīm iṅgitākāraiḥ sūcayet/

3.3.24

yuvatayo hi saṃsṛṣṭam abhīkṣṇadarśanaṃ ca puruṣaṃ prathamaṃ kāmayante/ kāmayamānā api tu nābhiyuñjata iti prāyovādaḥ/ iti bālāyām upakramāḥ//

3.3.25

tān iṅgitākārān vakṣyāmaḥ//

Now a girl always shows her love by outward signs and actions such as the following:—She never looks the man in the face, and becomes abashed when she is looked at by him; under some pretext or other she shows her limbs to him; she looks secretly at him though he has gone away from her side; hangs down her head when she is asked some question by him, and answers in indistinct words and unfinished sentences, delights to be in his company for a long time, speaks to her attendants in a peculiar tone with the hope of attracting his attention towards her when she is at a distance from him, does not wish to go from the place where he is, under some pretext or other she makes him look at different things, narrates to him tales and stories very slowly, so that she may continue conversing with him for a long time, kisses and embraces before him a child sitting in her lap, draws ornamental marks on the foreheads of her female servants, performs sportive and graceful movements when her attendants speak jestingly to her in the presence of her lover, confides in her lover's friends, and respects and obeys them, shows kindness to his servants, converses with them, and engages them to do her work as if she were their mistress, and listens attentively to them when they tell stories about her lover to somebody else, enters his house when induced to do so by the daughter of her nurse, and by her assistance manages to converse and play with him, avoids being seen by her lover when she is not dressed and decorated, gives him by the hand of her female friend her ear ornament, ring, or garland of flowers that he may have asked to see, always wears anything that he may have presented to her, becomes dejected when any other bridegroom is mentioned by her parents, and does not mix with those who may be of his party, or who may support his claims.

3.3.26

saṃmukhaṃ taṃ tu na vīkṣate/ vīkṣitā vrīḍāṃ darśayati/ rucyam ātmano 'ṅgam apadeśena prakāśayati/ pramattaṃ pracchannaṃ nāyakam atikrāntaṃ ca vīkṣate/

3.3.27

pṛṣṭā ca kiṃ cit sasmitam avyaktākṣaram anavasitārthaṃ ca mandaṃ mandam adhomukhī kathayati/ tat samīpe ciraṃ sthānam abhinandati/ dūre sthitā paśyatu mām iti manyamānā parijanaṃ savadanavikāram ābhāṣate/ taṃ deśaṃ na muñcati/

3.3.28

yat kiṃ cid dṛṣṭvā vihasitaṃ karoti/ tatra kathām avasthānārtham anubadhnāti/ bālasyāṅkagatasyāliṅganaṃ cumbanaṃ ca karoti/ paricārikāyās tilakaṃ ca racayati/ parijanānavaṣṭabhya tās tāś ca līlā darśayati/

3.3.29

tan mitreṣu viśvasiti/ vacanaṃ caiṣāṃ bahu manyate karoti ca/ tat paricārakaiḥ saha prītiṃ saṃkathāṃ dyūtam iti ca karoti/ svakarmasu ca prabhaviṣṇur ivaitān niyuñkte/ teṣu ca nāyakasaṃkathām anyasya kathayatsv avahitā tāṃ śṛṇoti/

3.3.30

dhātreyikayā coditā nāyakasyodavasitaṃ praviśati/ tām antarā kṛtvā tena saha dyūtaṃ krīḍām ālāpaṃ cāyojayitum icchati/ analaṃkṛtā darśanapathaṃpariharati/ karṇapattram aṅgulīyakaṃ srajaṃ vā tena yācitā sadhīram eva gātrād avatārya sakhyā haste dadāti/ tena ca dattaṃ nityaṃ dhārayati/ anyavarasaṃkathāsu viṣaṇṇā bhavati/ tat pakṣakaiś
ca saha na saṃsṛjyata iti// bhavataś cātra ślokau ---

There are also some verses on the subject as follows:—

3.3.31

dṛṣṭvaitān bhāvasaṃyuktān ākārān iṅgitāni ca/
kanyāyāḥ saṃprayogārthaṃ tāṃs tān yogān vicintayet//

A man, who has seen and perceived the feelings of the girl towards him, and who has noticed the outward signs and movements by which those feelings are expressed, should do everything in his power to effect an union with her. He should gain over a young girl by childlike sports, a damsel come of age by his skill in the arts, and a girl that loves him by having recourse to persons in whom she confides.

3.3.32

bālakrīḍanakair bālā kalābhir yauvane sthitā/
vatsalā cāpi saṃgrāhyā viśvāsyajanasaṃgrahāt//

3.4

ekapuruṣābhiyogāḥ

About Things to be Done Only by the Man, and the Acquisition of the Girl Thereby. Also, What is to be Done by a Girl to Gain Over a Man, and Subject Him to Her.

3.4.1

darśiteṅgitākārāṃ kanyām *upāyato 'bhiyuñjīta//

Now when the girl begins to show her love by outward signs and motions, as described in the last chapter, the lover should try to gain her over entirely by various ways and means, such as the following:—

3.4.2

dyūte krīḍanakeṣu ca vivadamānaḥ sākāram asyāḥ pāṇim avalambeta//

When engaged with her in any game or sport he should intentionally hold her hand. He should practice upon her the various kinds of embraces, such as the touching embrace, and others already described in a preceding chapter (Part II., Capter 2). He should show her a pair of human beings cut out of the leaf of a tree, and such like things, at intervals. When engaged in water sports, he should dive at a distance from her, and come up close to her. He should show an increased liking for the new foliage of trees and such like things. He should describe to her the pangs he suffers on her account. He should relate to her the beautiful dream that he has had with reference to other women. At parties and assemblies of his caste he should sit near her, and touch her under some pretence or other, and having placed his foot upon hers, he should slowly touch each of her toes, and press the ends of the nails; if successful in this, he should get hold of her foot with his hand and repeat the same thing. He should also press a finger of her hand between his toes when she happens to be washing his feet; and whenever he gives anything to her or takes anything from her, he should show her by his manner and look how much he loves her.

3.4.3

yathoktaṃ ca spṛṣṭakādikam āliṅganavidhiṃ vidadhyāt//

3.4.4

patracchedyakriyāyāṃ ca svābhiprāyāsūcakaṃ mithunam asyā darśayet//

3.4.5

evam anyad viralaśo darśayet//

3.4.6

jalakrīḍāyāṃ tad dūrato 'psu nimagnaḥ samīpam asyā gatvā spṛṣṭvā caināṃ tatraivonmajjet//

3.4.7

navapatrikādiṣu ca saviśeṣabhāvanivedanam//

3.4.8

ātmaduḥkhasyānirvedena kathanam//

3.4.9

svapnasya ca bhāvayuktasyānyāpadeśena//

3.4.10

prekṣaṇake svajanasamāje vā samīpopaveśanam/ tatrānyāpadiṣṭaṃ sparśanam//

3.4.11

apāśrayārthaṃ ca caraṇena caraṇasya pīḍanam//

3.4.12

tataḥ śanakair ekaikām aṅgulim abhispṛśet//

3.4.13

pādāṅguṣṭhena ca nakhāgrāṇi ghaṭṭayet//

3.4.14

tatra siddhaḥ padāt padam adhikam ākāṅkṣet//

3.4.15

kṣānty arthaṃ ca tad evābhyaset//

3.4.16

pādaśauce pādāṅgulisaṃdaṃśena tad aṅgulipīḍanam//

3.4.17

dravyasya samarpaṇe pratigrahe vā tadgato vikāraḥ//

3.4.18

ācamanānte codakenāsekaḥ//

He should sprinkle upon her the water brought for rinsing his mouth; and when alone with her in a lonely place, or in darkness, he should make love to her, and tell her the true state of his mind without distressing her in any way.

3.4.19

vijane tamasi ca dvandvam āsīnaḥ kṣāntiṃ kruvīta/ samānadeśaśayyāyāṃ ca//

3.4.20

tatra yathārtham anudvejayato bhāvanivedanam//

3.4.21

vivikte ca kiṃ cid asti kathayitavyam ity uktvā nirvacanaṃ bhāvaṃ ca tatropalakṣayet/ yathā pāradārike vakṣyāmaḥ//

Whenever he sits with her on the same seat or bed he should say to her, "I have something to tell you in private," and then, when she comes to hear it in a quiet place, he should express his love to her more by manner and signs than by words. When he comes to know the state of her feelings towards him he should pretend to be ill, and should make her come to his house to speak to him. There he should intentionally hold her hand and place it on his eyes and forehead, and under the pretence of preparing some medicine for him he should ask her to do the work for his sake in the following words: "This work must be done by you, and by nobody else." When she wants to go away he should let her go, with an earnest request to come and see him again. This device of illness should be continued for three days and three nights. After this, when she begins coming to see him frequently, he should carry on long conversations with her, for, says Ghotakamukha, "though a man loves a girl ever so much, he never succeeds in winning her without a great deal of talking." At last, when the man finds the girl completely gained over, he may then begin to enjoy her. As for the saying that women grow less timid than usual during the evening, at night, and in darkness, and are desirous of congress at those times, and do not oppose men then, and should only be enjoyed at these hours, it is a matter of talk only.

3.4.22

viditabhāvas tu vyādhim apadiśyaināṃ vārtāgrahaṇārthaṃ svam udavasitam ānayet//

3.4.23

āgatāyāś ca śiraḥ pīḍane niyogaḥ/ pāṇim avalambya cāsyāḥ sākāraṃ nayanayor lalāṭe ca nidadhyāt//

3.4.24

auṣadhāpadeśārthaṃ cāsyāḥ karma vinirdiśet//

3.4.25

idaṃ tvayā kartavyam/ na hy etad ṛte kanyayā anyena kāryam iti gacchantīṃ punar āgamanānubandham enāṃ visṛjet//

3.4.26

asya ca yogasya trirātraṃ trisaṃdhyaṃ ca prayuktiḥ//

3.4.27

abhīkṣṇadarśanārtham āgatāyāś ca goṣṭhīṃ vardhayet//

3.4.28

anyābhir api saha viśvāsanārtham adhikam adhikaṃ cābhiyuñjīta/ na tu vācā nirvadet//

3.4.29

dūragatabhāvo 'pi hi kanyāsu na nirvedena siddhyatīti ghoṭakamukhaḥ//

3.4.30

yadā tu bahusiddhāṃ manyeta tadaivopakramet//

3.4.31

pradoṣe niśi tamasi ca yoṣito mandasādhvasāḥ suratavyavasāyinyo rāgavatyaś ca bhavanti/ na ca puruṣaṃ pratyācakṣate/ tasmāt tatkālaṃ prayojayitavyā iti prāyovādaḥ//

3.4.32

ekapuruṣābhiyogānāṃ tv asaṃbhave gṛhītārthayā dhātreyikayā sakhyā vā tasyām antarbhūtayā tam artham anirvadantyā sahainām aṅkam ānāyayet/ tato yathoktam abhiyuñjīta//

When it is impossible for the man to carry on his endeavors alone, he should, by means of the daughter of her nurse, or of a female friend in whom she confides, cause the girl to be brought to him without making known to her his design, and he should then proceed with her in the manner above described. Or he should in the beginning send his own female servant to live with the girl as her friend, and should then gain her over by her means.

3.4.33

svāṃ vā paricārikām ādāv eva sakhītvenāsyāḥ praṇidadhyāt//

3.4.34

yajñe vivāhe yātrāyām utsave vyasane prekṣaṇakavyāpṛte jane tatra tatra ca dṛṣṭeṅgitākārāṃ parīkṣitabhāvām ekākinīm upakrameta/

At last, when he knows the state of her feelings by her outward manner and conduct towards him at religious ceremonies, marriage ceremonies, fairs, festivals, theatres, public assemblies, and such like occasions, he should begin to enjoy her when she is alone, for Vatsyayana lays it down, that women, when resorted to at proper times and in proper places, do not turn away from their lovers.

3.4.35

na hi dṛṣṭabhāvā yoṣito deśe kāle ca prayujyamānā vyāvartanta iti vātsyāyanaḥ/ ity ekapuruṣābhiyogāḥ/

3.4.36

mandāpadeśā guṇavaty api kanyā dhanahīnā kulīnāpi samānair ayācyāmānā mātāpitṛviyuktā vā jñātikulavartinī vā prāptayauvanā pāṇigrahaṇaṃ svayam abhīpseta//

When a girl, possessed of good qualities and well-bred, though born in a humble family, or destitute of wealth, and not therefore desired by her equals, or an orphan girl, or one deprived of her parents, but observing the rules of her family and caste, should wish to bring about her own marriage when she comes of age, such a girl should endeavor to gain over a strong and good looking young man, or a person whom she thinks would marry her on account of the weakness of his mind, and even without the consent of his parents. She should do this by such means as would endear her to the said person, as well as by frequently seeing and meeting him. Her mother also should constantly cause them to meet by means of her female friends, and the daughter of her nurse. The girl herself should try to get alone with her beloved in some quiet place, and at odd times should give him flowers, betel nut, betel leaves, and perfumes. She should also show her skill in the practice of the arts, in shampooing, in scratching, and in pressing with the nails. She should also talk to him on the subjects he likes best, and discuss with him the ways and means of gaining over and winning the affections of a girl.

3.4.37

sā tu guṇavantaṃ śaktaṃ sudarśanaṃ bālaprītyābhiyojayet//

3.4.38

yaṃ vā manyeta mātāpitror asamīkṣayā svayam apy ayam indriyadaurbalyān mayi pravartiṣyata iti priyahitopacārair abhīkṣṇasaṃdarśanena ca tam āvarjayet//

3.4.39

mātā caināṃ sakhībhir dhātreyikābhiś ca saha tad abhimukhīṃ kuryāt//

3.4.40

puṣpagandhatāmbūlahastāyā vijane vikāle ca tad upasthānam/ kalākauśalaprakāśane vā saṃvāhane śirasaḥ pīḍane caucityadarśanam/ prayojyasya sātmyayuktāḥ kathāyogāḥ bālāyām upakrameṣu yathoktam ācaret//

3.4.41

na caivāntarāpi puruṣaṃ svayam abhiyuñjīta/ svayam abhiyoginī hi yuvatiḥ saubhāgyaṃ jahātīty ācāryāḥ//

But old authors say that although the girl loves the man ever so much, she should not offer herself, or make the first overtures, for a girl who does this loses her dignity, and is liable to be scorned and rejected. But when the man shows his wish to enjoy her, she should be favorable to him, and should show no change in her demeanour when he embraces her, and should receive all the manifestations of his love as if she were ignorant of the state of his mind. But when he tries to kiss her she should oppose him; when he begs to be allowed to have sexual intercourse with her she should let him touch her private parts only and with considerable difficulty; and though importuned by him, she should not yield herself up to him as if of her own accord, but should resist his attempts to have her. It is only, moreover, when she is certain that she is truly loved, and that her lover is indeed devoted to her, and will not change his mind, that she should then give herself up to him, and persuade him to marry her quickly. After losing her virginity she should tell her confidential friends about it.

3.4.42

tat prayuktānāṃ tv abhiyogānām ānulomyena grahaṇam/

3.4.43

pariṣvaktā ca na vikṛtiṃ bhajet/ ślakṣṇam ākāram ajānatīva pratigṛhṇīyāt/ vadanagrahaṇe balāt kāraḥ/

3.4.44

ratibhāvanām abhyarthyamānāyāḥ kṛcchrād guhyasaṃsparśanam//

3.4.45

abhyarthitāpi nātivivṛtā svayaṃ syāt/ anyatrāniścayakālāt/

3.4.46

yadā tu manyetānurakto mayi na vyāvartiṣyata iti tadaivainam abhiyuñjānaṃ bālabhāvamokṣāya *tvarayet/

3.4.47

vimuktakanyābhāvā ca viśvāsyeṣu prakāśayet/ iti prayojyasyopāvartanam//

Here end the efforts of a girl to gain over a man.

3.4.48

kanyābhiyujyamānā tu yaṃ manyetāśrayaṃ sukham/
anukūlaṃ ca vaśyaṃ ca tasya kuryāt parigraham//

There are also some verses on the subject as follows; A girl who is much sought after should marry the man that she likes, and whom she thinks would be obedient to her, and capable of giving her pleasure. But when from the desire of wealth a girl is married by her parents to a rich man without taking into consideration the character or looks of the bridegroom, or when given to a man who has several wives, she never becomes attached to the man, even though he be endowed with good qualities, obedient to her will, active, strong, and healthy, and anxious to please her in every way. A husband who is obedient but yet master of himself, though he be poor and not good looking, is better than one who is common to many women, even though he be handsome and attractive. The wives of rich men, where there are many wives, are not generally attached to their husbands, and are not confidential with them, and even though they possess all the external enjoyments of life, still have recourse to other men. A man who is of a low mind, who has fallen from his social position, and who is much given to travelling, does not deserve to be married; neither does one who has many wives and children, or one who is devoted to sport and gambling, and who comes to his wife only when he likes. Of all the lovers of a girl he only is her true husband who possesses the qualities that are liked by her, and such a husband only enjoys real superiority over her, because he is the husband of love.

3.4.49

anapekṣya guṇān yatra rūpamaucityam eva ca/
kurvīta dhanalobhena patiṃ sāpatnakeṣv api//

3.4.50

tatra yuktaguṇaṃ vaśyaṃ śaktaṃ balavad arthinam/
upāyair abhiyuñjānaṃ kanyā na pratilobhayet//

3.4.51

varaṃ vaśyo daridro 'pi nirguṇo 'py ātmadhāraṇaḥ/
guṇair yukto 'pi na tv evaṃ bahusādhāraṇaḥ patiḥ//

3.4.52

prāyeṇa dhanināṃ dārā bahavo niravagrahāḥ/
bāhye saty upabhoge 'pi nirvisrambhā bahiḥ sukhāḥ//

3.4.53

nīco yas tv abhiyuñjīta puruṣaḥ palito 'pi vā/
videśagatiśīlaś ca na sa saṃyogam arhati//

3.4.54

yad ṛcchayābhiyukto yo dambhadyūtādhiko 'pi vā/
sapatnīkaś ca sāpatyo na sa saṃyogam arhati//

3.4.55

guṇasāmye 'bhiyoktṝṇām eko varayitā varaḥ/
tatrābhiyoktari śreṣṭhyam anurāgātmako hi saḥ//

3.5.1

prācuryeṇa kanyāyā viviktadarśanasyālābhe dhātreyikāṃ priyahitābhyām upagṛhyopasarpet//

When a girl cannot meet her lover frequently in private, she should send the daughter of her nurse to him, it being understood that she has confidence in her, and had previously gained her over to her interests. On seeing the man, the daughter of the nurse should, in the course of conversation, describe to him the noble birth, the good disposition, the beauty, talent, skill, knowledge of human nature, and affection of the girl in such a way as not to let him suppose that she had been sent by the girl, and should thus create affection for the girl in the heart of the man. To the girl also she should speak about the excellent qualities of the man, especially of those qualities which she knows are pleasing to the girl. She should, moreover, speak with disparagement of the other lovers of the girl, and talk about the avarice and indiscretion of their parents, and the fickleness of their relations. She should also quote samples of many girls of ancient times, such as Sakuntala and others, who, having united themselves with lovers of their own caste and their own choice, were ever happy afterwards in their society. She should also tell of other girls who married into great families, and being troubled by rival wives became wretched and miserable, and were finally abandoned. She should further speak of the good fortune, the continual happiness, the chastity, obedience, and affection of the man, and if the girl gets amorous about him, she should endeavor to allay her shameand her fear as well as her suspicions about any disaster that might result from her marriage. In a word, she should act the whole part of a female messenger by telling the girl all about the man's affection for her, the places he frequented, and the endeavors he made to meet her, and by frequently repeating, "It will be all right if the man will take you away forcibly and unexpectedly."

3.5.2

sā cainām aviditā nāma nāyakasya bhūtvā tad guṇair anurañjayet/ tasyāś ca rucyān nāyakaguṇān bhūyiṣṭham upavarṇayet/

When a girl cannot meet her lover frequently in private, she should send the daughter of her nurse to him, it being understood that she has confidence in her, and had previously gained her over to her interests. On seeing the man, the daughter of the nurse should, in the course of conversation, describe to him the noble birth, the good disposition, the beauty, talent, skill, knowledge of human nature, and affection of the girl in such a way as not to let him suppose that she had been sent by the girl, and should thus create affection for the girl in the heart of the man. To the girl also she should speak about the excellent qualities of the man, especially of those qualities which she knows are pleasing to the girl. She should, moreover, speak with disparagement of the other lovers of the girl, and talk about the avarice and indiscretion of their parents, and the fickleness of their relations. She should also quote samples of many girls of ancient times, such as Sakuntala and others, who, having united themselves with lovers of their own caste and their own choice, were ever happy afterwards in their society. She should also tell of other girls who married into great families, and being troubled by rival wives became wretched and miserable, and were finally abandoned. She should further speak of the good fortune, the continual happiness, the chastity, obedience, and affection of the man, and if the girl gets amorous about him, she should endeavor to allay her shameand her fear as well as her suspicions about any disaster that might result from her marriage. In a word, she should act the whole part of a female messenger by telling the girl all about the man's affection for her, the places he frequented, and the endeavors he made to meet her, and by frequently repeating, "It will be all right if the man will take you away forcibly and unexpectedly."

3.5.3

anyeṣāṃ varapitṝṇāṃ dośān abhiprāyaviruddhān pratipādayet/

When a girl cannot meet her lover frequently in private, she should send the daughter of her nurse to him, it being understood that she has confidence in her, and had previously gained her over to her interests. On seeing the man, the daughter of the nurse should, in the course of conversation, describe to him the noble birth, the good disposition, the beauty, talent, skill, knowledge of human nature, and affection of the girl in such a way as not to let him suppose that she had been sent by the girl, and should thus create affection for the girl in the heart of the man. To the girl also she should speak about the excellent qualities of the man, especially of those qualities which she knows are pleasing to the girl. She should, moreover, speak with disparagement of the other lovers of the girl, and talk about the avarice and indiscretion of their parents, and the fickleness of their relations. She should also quote samples of many girls of ancient times, such as Sakuntala and others, who, having united themselves with lovers of their own caste and their own choice, were ever happy afterwards in their society. She should also tell of other girls who married into great families, and being troubled by rival wives became wretched and miserable, and were finally abandoned. She should further speak of the good fortune, the continual happiness, the chastity, obedience, and affection of the man, and if the girl gets amorous about him, she should endeavor to allay her shameand her fear as well as her suspicions about any disaster that might result from her marriage. In a word, she should act the whole part of a female messenger by telling the girl all about the man's affection for her, the places he frequented, and the endeavors he made to meet her, and by frequently repeating, "It will be all right if the man will take you away forcibly and unexpectedly."

3.5.4

mātāpitroś ca guṇān abhijñatāṃ lubdhatāṃ ca capalatāṃ ca bāndhavānām/

When a girl cannot meet her lover frequently in private, she should send the daughter of her nurse to him, it being understood that she has confidence in her, and had previously gained her over to her interests. On seeing the man, the daughter of the nurse should, in the course of conversation, describe to him the noble birth, the good disposition, the beauty, talent, skill, knowledge of human nature, and affection of the girl in such a way as not to let him suppose that she had been sent by the girl, and should thus create affection for the girl in the heart of the man. To the girl also she should speak about the excellent qualities of the man, especially of those qualities which she knows are pleasing to the girl. She should, moreover, speak with disparagement of the other lovers of the girl, and talk about the avarice and indiscretion of their parents, and the fickleness of their relations. She should also quote samples of many girls of ancient times, such as Sakuntala and others, who, having united themselves with lovers of their own caste and their own choice, were ever happy afterwards in their society. She should also tell of other girls who married into great families, and being troubled by rival wives became wretched and miserable, and were finally abandoned. She should further speak of the good fortune, the continual happiness, the chastity, obedience, and affection of the man, and if the girl gets amorous about him, she should endeavor to allay her shameand her fear as well as her suspicions about any disaster that might result from her marriage. In a word, she should act the whole part of a female messenger by telling the girl all about the man's affection for her, the places he frequented, and the endeavors he made to meet her, and by frequently repeating, "It will be all right if the man will take you away forcibly and unexpectedly."