The Position of Women in Hindu Civilisation, from Prehistoric Times to the Present Day c7.s2.42

c7.s2.42

In the Brāhma marriage, the father carefully selects the son-in-law, invites him to his house and offers him his daughter according to proper religious rites, along with such presents as he could conveniently give on account of natural affection. The definition of the Brāhma marriage, as given above, occurs in Smṛitis which were written when girls were married at a young age; the bride is therefore naturally seen figuring as an object of gift and not as an active agent. It should be pointed out that the gift of the bride was a mere formality ; it did not at all authorise the husband to treat his wife in any way he liked. He had to take an oath that he would be always very closely associated with his new partner in life in all its spheres. The phraseology of the bride being an object of gift was introduced in the marriage ritual simply because the word ‘*dāna*’ had very holy associations in Hindu mind. One can give a *dāna* only to a properly qualified person ; so the bridegroom-elect had to be a good and suitable husband. What one receives as a sacred gift in the presence of the Divine Fire is really a trust, for the proper discharge of which one is responsible to the Creator of the Universe. The hold and influence of religion being what they were, the conception of the bride being a sacred gift freely given to the bridegroom in the presence of gods for the proper discharge of religious and social duties and obligations was the best guarantee against any possible tendency in the husband to ill-treat his wife, or to become unfaithful to her.