Social Life in Ancient India: Studies in Vatsyayana's Kamasutra c8.107

c8.107

Vātsyāyana gives detailed instructions about the methods of courtship, varying according to age. A mere girl (*bālā*) is to be wooed by sharing in her child-like sports and occupations, a damsel who is come of age (*yauvanasthitā*), by an exhibition of skill in the arts or *kalās*, and a woman more advanced in years is to be courted through the help of those in whom she places her confidence.² Thus the young swain is advised to collect flowers and make garlands in company with the maiden whose heart he wishes to win and to carry on with her games befitting their age or the degree of familiarity between them, or only such as are agreeable to her disposition.³ He should form the acquaintance of and propitiate her female friends, specially the daughter of her nurse, by little acts of kindness and service—as she would be very helpful in his quest.⁴ The man should get for the girl things that she takes a fancy to.⁵ Vātsyāyana then gives a fairly long list of presents that would be prized by her especially such as would show her off on days of public and private festivities.¹ When he has won the confidence to some extent then he may amuse her by relating agreeable stories or entertain her with music². He himself must always be faultlessly dressed and never be offensive to sight, because, Vātsyāyana argues, when maidens reach youth they get to love men whom they frequently see³. He should now carefully take note of her movements and see if he can detect any signs of growing partiality for him.⁴