Social Life in Ancient India: Studies in Vatsyayana's Kamasutra c8.s6.t1.6

c8.s6.t1.6

There is an atmosphere of control and restraint about her. In her talk she is moderate and never speaks or laughs aloud; she does not return an answer when reproved by her husband's parents. She does not give herself airs when she enjoys great good fortune. In her dress she practises moderation: when going out on festive occasions, she wears a few ornaments and only a few garments of fine and soft texture, uses perfumes and ointments very moderately and adorns herself only with white flowers. But when she is going to meet her husband, she takes the greatest care with her toilet; then she makes herself tidy, sweet and clean, she puts on many ornaments, wears flowers of various hues and smells, uses perfumes and in every way makes herself attractive. Flowers were worn in garlands hanging from the neck (sraj), or in chaplets (āpīḍa) on the head, or were simply put in the hair,⁴ or in elaborate ornaments for the ears (karṇapūra or karṇapatra). Another item of a woman's toilet was the paint or the dots and patches on the forehead and cheeks, put on in various designs (*viśeṣaka*). Sometimes leaves of such plants as *tamāla* were used with it, as we find in the *Saundarananda-Kāvya*.¹ Vātsyāyana advises a wife never to present herself before her husband without some ornaments on her person even when alone with him.² This idea is found in Indian literature as early as the time of Yāska, who says, "to the man who understands her meaning, the Veda shows herself as a loving wife shows herself to her husband in all her rich apparel." As Yāska here is quoting a verse of the *Ṛgveda* where it occurs at least four times, the idea belongs to the very earliest period of Indian thought.³ But when the husband is away from home the wife goes, as it were, into mourning; she puts away all her ornaments and finery with the exception of those that mark her married condition, such as the bangles of shells, only one on each wrist.⁴ At that time she also practises fasts and austerities in honour of the gods and does not go to visit even the near relatives except in very urgent cases when they are in some danger, or when there are some festivities there, and even then, she must not change her quiet dress indicating the separation (*pravāsa-veṣa*); and she should never go there but in the company of her husband's people and must not stay there long. When the husband returns home she goes to meet him as she is, then she worships the gods, specially Kāmadeva, the god of love, and offers gifts of food to men and birds.