History of Dharmashastra (Ancient and Mediaeval Religious and Civil Law in India) v2.c26.13

v2.c26.13

The first consideration is: how to choose a bridegroom and what qualifications make a person a very desirable bridegroom. Āśv. gṛ. (I. 5. 2) says 'one should give a maiden¹⁰¹⁹ (in marriage) to a man endowed with intelligence'. The Āp. gṛ. (3. 20) remarks "the accomplishments of a bridegroom are that he must be endowed with good family, a good character, auspicious characteristics, learning and good health". Baud. Dh. S. IV. 1. 12 states 'a maiden should be given in marriage to one who is endowed with good qualities and who is a celibate (till then)'. Even the Śākuntala (IV) echoes the words of Baudhāyana 'the best idea is to give one's daughter to a man endowed with good qualities'. Yama quoted in the Sm. C. (I. p. 78) says 'one should seek for seven qualities in a bridegroom viz. good family, good character, bodily appearance, fame, learning, wealth and support (of relatives and friends); the other matters need not be considered'. Bṛhat-parāśara (p. 118 Jīv. ed.) enumerates eight qualities in a bridegroom viz. caste, learning, youth, strength, health, support of many (friends &c.), ambitions (arthitva), and possession of wealth. Āśv. gṛ. (I. 5. 1) and others place kula (a good family) in the forefront in the case of both the bride and the bridegroom.¹⁰²⁰ 'One should first examine the family (of the intended bride or bridegroom) as it has been said above (in the Āśv. Śrauta sūtra IX. 3).' The Āśv. Śrauta reads 'those who on their mother's as well as their father's side through ten generations are endowed with learning, austerity and meritorious works or whose pure brāhmaṇa lineage can be traced on both sides (for ten generations) or according to some on the father's side.' Manu regarded a good family as the most important from the eugenic point of view. In IV. 244 he says 'one who desires to raise his family to excellence and eminence should always enter into marriage alliances with the best and avoid alliance with the low'; and adds (III. 6-7) that ten kinds of families even though richly endowed with cattle, wealth &c. should be avoided in marriage viz. in which the saṃskāras are not performed, in which there is no male progeny, which are devoid of Veda (study), which have hairy members, that suffer from piles or consumption or indigestion or epilepsy, white or black leprosy. Manu (III. 63-65) explains under what circumstances good families are reduced to a bad state. Hārīta states that the offspring is in accordance with the (qualities of the) family of the parents. The Harṣacarita (IV) gives expression to the view that generally the wise look to good family first even though there may be other qualities in the bridegroom. Manu II. 238, however, allows a man to marry a girl even from an inferior or bad family provided she is a jewel among women.