Sexual Life in Ancient India: A Study in the Comparative History of Indian Culture v2.c13.91

v2.c13.91

she was changed one half into an evil river, the Ambā, but as for the other half she was still the former maiden, and gave herself up to further penances. The ascetics surrounded her, tried to hold her back, and asked her why she was doing all this. Then spoke the maid to the Rishis rich in penance : “ I have been treated by Bhīshma with despite, cheated of the rights bound up with the husband. It is to slay him that I have given myself to asceticism, not to come unto heaven’s worlds. When I have slain Bhīshma, then shall I find peace. This is my resolve. I shall not stop until I have slain Gaṅgā’s son in the fight, because of whom I have been brought to where I now am, thus to dwell in never-ending sorrow, robbed of the blissful world of a husband, here on earth neither wife nor husband. I am wearied of life as a woman ; I am firmly resolved to become a man. I mean to take retaliation on Bhīshma ; none shall stay my hand.” Then Çiva appeared to her in his own shape, and offered her a favour. She chose victory over Bhīshma. “ Thou wilt slay him.” “ How should victory in the fight fall to me, a woman ? And as I am a woman, my heart is very mild.¹ And yet, O lord of beings, thou hast granted me to overcome Bhīshma.” Çiva answered : “ Thou wilt overcome Bhīshma in the fight, and become a man. And thou wilt remember all this, when thou hast gone into another body. Thou wilt be born in Drupada’s race and become a great chariot-warrior.” When Çiva had vanished again, Ambā gathered wood together out of the forest, made a great pile before the penitents’ eyes, and kindled it. Then, her heart ablaze with anger, she leapt into the flaming fire with the cry : “ Death to Bhīshma !”