禪關策進 1.39

1.39

時不待人。轉眼便是來生。何不趁身強力健。打教徹去。討教明白去。何幸又得在此名山大澤神龍世界祖師法窟僧堂明淨。粥飯清潔。湯火穩便。若不向這裏打教徹討教明白去。是爾自暴自棄。自甘陸沈。為下劣愚癡之漢。若果是茫無所知。何不博問先知。凡遇五參。見曲彔床上老漢橫說竪說。何不歷在耳根。反覆尋思。畢竟是箇甚麼道理○山僧五歲出家。在上人侍下。見與賓客交談。便知有此事。便信得及。便學坐禪。十六為僧。十八行脚。在雙林遠和尚會下。打十方。從朝至暮不出戶庭。縱入眾寮。至後架。袖手當胸。不左右顧。目前所視不過三尺。初看無字。忽於念頭起處。打一箇返觀。這一念當下氷冷。直是澄澄湛湛不動不搖。過一日如彈指頃。都不聞鐘鼓之聲。十九在靈隱掛搭。見處州來書記。說欽禪爾這工夫是死水。不濟事。動靜二相。打作兩橛。參禪須是起疑情。小疑小悟。大疑大悟。被州說得著。便改了話頭。看箇乾屎橛。一味東疑西疑。橫看竪看。却被昏散交攻。頃刻潔淨也不能得。移單過淨慈。結甲七箇兄弟坐禪。封被脅不沾席。外有修上座。每日在蒲團上。如箇鐵鐝子相似。地上行時開兩眼。垂兩臂。亦如箇鐵鐝子相似。要與親近說話。更不可得。因兩年不倒身。捱得昏困。遂一放都放了。兩月後。從前整頓得這一放。十分精神。元來要究明此事。不睡也不得。須是到中夜熟睡一覺。方有精神。一日廊下見修。方得親近。却問去年要與爾說話。只管避我。如何。修云。真正辦道人。無剪爪之工。更與爾說話在。因問。即今昏散打屏不去。修道爾自不猛烈。須是高著蒲團。竪起脊梁。盡渾身併作一箇話頭。更討甚昏散。依修做工夫。不覺身心俱忘。清清三晝夜。兩眼不交睫。第三日午後。在三門下。如坐而行。又撞見修。問爾在此做甚麼。答云辦道。修云。爾喚甚麼作道。遂不能對。轉加迷悶。即欲歸堂坐禪。又撞見首座道。爾但大開了眼。看是甚麼道理。又被提這一句。只欲歸堂。纔上蒲團。面前豁然一開。如地陷一般。是時呈似人不得。非世間一切相可喻。便下單尋修。修見便道且喜且喜。握手門前柳堤上行一轉。俯仰天地間。森羅萬象眼見耳聞。向來所厭。所棄之物。與無明煩惱。元來都是自己妙明。真性中流出。半月餘動相不生。可惜不遇大手眼尊宿。不合向這裏坐住。謂之見地不脫。礙正知見。每於睡著時。打作兩橛。公案有義路者。則理會得。如銀山鐵壁者。却又不會。雖在無準先師會下。多年入室陞座。無一語打著心下事。經教語錄上。亦無一語可解此病。如是礙在胸中者十年。一日在天目佛殿上行。擡眼見一株古柏。觸目省發。向來所得境界。礙膺之物。撲然而散。如闇室中出在白日。從此不疑生。不疑死。不疑佛。不疑祖。始得見徑山老人立地處。好與三十拄杖。

Time waits for no one; in the blink of an eye is the next life. Why not take advantage of a strong body and robust health to strike through to penetration and seek clarity? What fortune to be here again in this famous mountain and great marsh, world of divine dragons, Dharma cave of the ancestral masters, where the Sangha hall is bright and pure, gruel and rice are clean, and hot water and fire are convenient! If you do not strike through to penetration and seek clarity right here, you are abandoning yourself, willingly sinking into land-submergence, becoming base, inferior, and foolish fellows. If you are truly totally ignorant, why not broadly question those of prior knowledge? Whenever encountering the five convocations, seeing the old fellow on the curved-wood chair speaking this way and that, why do you not take it into your ears and repeatedly ponder: after all, what principle is this? This mountain monk left home at the age of five. Attending upon my superior, seeing him conversing with guests, I knew of this matter, fully believed in it, and learned to sit in meditation. At sixteen I was ordained as a monk; at eighteen I went on pilgrimage. Under Master Yuan of Shuanglin, I went to the ten directions: from morning to evening I did not go beyond the courtyard; even when entering the communal quarters or going to the rear rack, I tucked my hands at my chest, not looking to the left or right, looking no more than three feet ahead. At first, I inspected the character Wu. Suddenly, at the point where a thought arose, I turned the light back to look: that thought at that moment turned ice-cold, totally clear and still, unmoving and unshaken. A whole day passed like the snap of fingers, without hearing the sound of bells or drums. At nineteen, hanging up my bag at Lingyin, I saw Scribe Lai of Chuzhou, who said: 'Qin Chan, this effort of yours is dead water; it is useless. You split the two characteristics of motion and stillness into two separate halves. In Chan investigation, one must give rise to a feeling of doubt: small doubt brings small awakening, great doubt brings great awakening.' Struck by Zhou's words, I changed the huatou and inspected a dried piece of shit. Wholly doubting east and doubting west, inspecting horizontally and inspecting vertically, I was instead attacked by both torpor and distraction, unable to attain even a moment of purity. I moved to Jingci, forming a band of seven brothers to sit in meditation, sealing our quilts and not letting our ribs touch the mats. Outside, there was Senior Monk Xiu, who was on his cushion every day like an iron mattock; when walking on the ground, his two eyes open and his two arms hanging down, he was also like an iron mattock. Wanting to approach him to speak was entirely impossible. Because I did not lie down for two years, I was overwhelmed by drowsiness and fatigue, and so I completely let go of it all. Two months later, having adjusted from before, with this letting go I had full spirit. It turns out that to investigate this matter to clarity, going without sleep will not do either; one must have a sound sleep in the middle of the night before one has spirit. One day, seeing Xiu in the corridor, I was finally able to approach him, and asked: 'Last year I wanted to speak with you, but you kept avoiding me; why?' Xiu said: 'A true practitioner of the Way has no time even to clip his fingernails; would he have time to speak with you?' I then asked: 'Right now, torpor and distraction cannot be driven away.' Xiu said: 'You are simply not fierce enough yourself. You must raise your cushion high, straighten your backbone, and unify your whole body into a single huatou—then what torpor and distraction could you find?' Applying effort according to Xiu's words, without realizing it I forgot both body and mind: for three days and three nights in total clarity, my two eyelids did not close. On the afternoon of the third day, under the triple gate, walking as if sitting, I bumped into Xiu again, who asked: 'What are you doing here?' I answered: 'Cultivating the Way.' Xiu said: 'What do you call the Way?' I was unable to reply and became even more bewildered. Immediately wishing to return to the hall to sit in meditation, I bumped into the head monk, who said: 'Just open your eyes wide and see what principle it is!' Spurred again by this phrase, wishing only to return to the hall, as soon as I got onto the cushion, in front of me everything opened wide with a crash, as if the ground had caved in. At that time, it could not be presented to anyone, nor could any worldly characteristic serve as a metaphor. I then got down from the platform to look for Xiu. Seeing me, Xiu said: 'Congratulations, congratulations!' Holding hands, we took a turn walking on the willow dike before the gate. Looking up and down between heaven and earth, all the myriad phenomena seen with the eyes and heard with the ears, the things previously detested and abandoned, along with ignorance and defilements, had originally flowed out from the marvelous clarity of one's own true nature. For more than half a month, no sign of movement arose. Unfortunately, I did not encounter an elder of great hands and eyes, and improperly remained seated here, which is called 'unliberated understanding, obstructing correct views.' Whenever falling asleep, I split it into two halves: gongan that had rational paths I could comprehend, but those like silver mountains and iron walls I could not understand. Although I was in the assembly of the late Master Wuzhun for many years, entering his room and attending his discourses, not a single word struck my inner concern; in the scriptures and recorded sayings, there was also not a single word that could resolve this sickness. Thus it remained an obstacle in my chest for ten years. One day, walking in the Buddha hall on Mount Tianmu, I raised my eyes and saw an old cypress: upon contact with my eyes, I was awakened! The realm previously attained, the thing obstructing my chest, crashed down and scattered, like walking out of a dark room into the broad daylight. From then on, I doubted not birth, doubted not death, doubted not Buddhas, doubted not ancestors; only then did I see the standing ground of the old man of Mount Jing, fully worthy of thirty blows of the staff.