諸經要集 4.27

4.27

As the *Zabaozang jing* states: In the past there was a woman who was extraordinarily upright and beautiful. She went forth and cultivated the Way in the teaching of an external tradition. People of that time asked her, saying: "With a countenance such as this, you ought to remain in the secular life. For what reason did you go forth?" The woman replied, saying: "In my present state, it is not that I am not beautiful, but because from childhood I have detested carnal lust, I have now gone forth. When I was at home, because of my beauty, I was married early and gave birth to a boy early. The boy subsequently grew up to be incomparably handsome. Gradually, he was seen to become emaciated and frail, like one who was sick. I immediately asked my son about the cause and condition of his sickness. The son refused to speak. Because I questioned him incessantly, having no choice, the son spoke to his mother, saying: 'If I desist and do not speak, I fear my life will not be preserved; yet if I wish to explain it fully, it is exceedingly shameful.' He then said to his mother: 'I desire to have mother for my private lustful passions. Because I cannot have [you], for this reason I am sick.' The mother then said to him: 'Since ancient times, how could there be such a matter?' She again thought to herself: 'If I do not comply, my son might die. Now I would rather violate principle in order to preserve my son's life.' Thereupon she called her son, intending to comply with his desire. As the son was about to mount the bed, the earth suddenly split open, and my son sank alive into hell. I was immediately terrified and pulled my son with my hand, catching hold of my son's hair. And my son's hair is today still held in my bosom. Deeply moved and pained by this matter, I therefore went forth."