The Position of Women in Hindu Civilisation, from Prehistoric Times to the Present Day c7.s4.11

c7.s4.11

united in wedlock. When once the hearts were stirred, the passion became stronger by subsequent meetings and associations. The girl would go to see her lover with her friends and vice versa. The parties would often play together and go to see a show or a fair in each other’s company. The lover would tell stories to his sweet-heart, and the latter would play music for the recreation of the former. Both would often go togther for sport in water at the time of bath. On such occasions they were usually accompanied by some friends or trusted servants. Mutual exchange of gifts was a normal procedure. A confession of love followed in course of time and it was tested by pretended illness. In some cases the parties would unite together and the formal marriage would follow with the consent of the elders, which was always presumed. Usually, however, even in love marriages, brides did not regard themselves free to take the final step, as they felt that such a procedure would smack of disrespect to their parents.¹ They would urge their lovers to make the formal proposal to their guardians, as they were confident of its outcome. Thus Suvarchalā confessed to Śvetaketu that she had fallen in love with him, but asked him to make the formal request to her father.² A heroine in the *Kathāsaritsāgara*, with abashment writ large on her face, prayed her lover to open the topic to her father, as she did not feel free to give herself away¹. This procedure was no doubt an improvement over the alternative one, whereunder the bride took the final step on her own responsibility. The known love of a grown up daughter would naturally induce the father to give his consent, even if he may not be very enthusiastic about the proposed union. If he felt that the match was unsuitable, he would usually take steps at an earlier stage to discourage the growing intimacy, and thus prevent the marriage.