Social Life in Ancient India: Studies in Vatsyayana's Kamasutra c8.96

c8.96

It would be seen that this ceremony of *varaṇa* is not exactly courtship as Peterson takes it to be, because, here the actual parties to the marriage have very little to do. They have no choice to exercise, the whole matter is settled by the parents and relatives, including the selection of the bride. Personal courtship by the young people themselves has a secondary importance only with Vātsyāyana; it was to be resorted to when other means failed. Hence he does not describe courtship first and marriage afterwards, but he first of all deals with the acquisition of a wife in the method approved of by society and by ancient tradition as contained in the sacred literature, and when this fails, a man may try to win over a girl by honest courtship, and even that failing, he may use tricks and even violence to secure his end. A girl also, under certain circumstances, though rather rare, may according to Vātsyāyana, take up the task of getting her husband in her own hands as we shall presently see.