Social Life in Ancient India: Studies in Vatsyayana's Kamasutra c8.97

c8.97

A young man is to give up the idea of preferring his suit (varaṇa) in the approved method and think of winning the affections of a girl by his own personal exertions when he finds himself placed under certain unfavourable circumstances: thus, he may be poor though otherwise fully qualified as a suitor; or when possessed of mediocre qualifications (madhyastha-guṇa), he may be of rather mean birth; or though rich, he may be a neighbour and therefore would not be liked on account of his high pretensions, or he may be disliked because of the possibility of quarrels springing up over boundaries etc., as the Commentary observes;¹ or though possessing parents and brothers, he may be dependent on others; or he may be considered a mere boy;—in all such cases when he cannot hope for a favourable response to his suit, he should try to gain the love and esteem of the girl on whom his heart is set from her childhood.²