勸發菩提心集 2.103

2.103

The Buddha told Yuye: 'In the world there are also seven kinds of wives: first, a wife like a mother; second, like a sister; third, like a good friend; fourth, like a wife; fifth, like a maidservant; sixth, like an enemy; seventh, like a murderer. A mother-like wife loves and cares for her husband just as a compassionate mother would; she attends to him morning and night without leaving his side, makes offerings with her whole heart without missing the proper occasions, and when her husband comes and goes, she fears he may suffer slight or injury; seeing him, she feels pity and affection without fatigue in her heart, loving her husband like a son. A sister-like wife serves her husband with full reverence and sincerity, as if they were siblings sharing the same qi and form, the closest flesh and blood without divided affection, honouring and respecting him as a younger sister serves her elder brother. A good-friend-like wife attends to her husband with earnest and sincere love; clinging and longing, she cannot bear to abandon him; she constantly shares confidential matters with him; seeing a fault, she relies on scolding to ensure his conduct is without error; she instructs him in good matters to increase his bright wisdom, loving him and wishing to lead him across the world like a good friend. A wife-like wife serves the elders with complete sincerity and utmost reverence; she serves her husband with humility and obedience to his commands; rising early and retiring late, she respectfully heeds his spoken orders; her mouth utters no unruly words, her body engages in no unruly conduct; when there is good, she defers it to others, and when there is a fault, she claims it for herself; she instructs with benevolence and giving, urging him on to the Way; her mind is upright and singular without perverse glances; she tranquilly cultivates the virtue of a wife, never falling short or lapsing; in advancing she does not violate decorum, and in retreating she does not lose etiquette, holding harmony above all else as precious. A maidservant-like wife constantly harbours awe and prudence, not daring to be insolent; she diligently attends to duties without avoiding difficulties; her mind is constantly humble, reverent, loyal, and filial, fulfilling her duty to the utmost; her speech is gentle and soft, her nature constantly harmonious and peaceful; her mouth utters no transgressive, disorderly, or perverse words, her body engages in no unrestrained conduct; she is chaste, good, unmixed, simple, straightforward, and faithful; she constantly maintains self-discipline and conducts herself according to etiquette; if her husband favors her, she does not become arrogant; if he does not receive her, she does not hold resentment; if she receives beatings, she accepts them as her lot without anger; when facing scolding and insult, she remains silent without hatred; she willingly and joyfully accepts it without divided heart; she encourages what he likes without jealousy of his sensual pleasures; when she is treated unfairly or thinly, she does not complain seeking redress; she applies herself to cultivating the virtues of a wife without being picky about food and clothing, devoted and respectful only fearing she may fall short, revering her husband as a maidservant serves her master—this is the maidservant-like wife. An enemy-like wife is never pleased when seeing her husband, constantly harbouring anger; day and night she thinks of seeking a separation; as a married couple her mind is always like that of a temporary lodger; she is contentious and quarrelsome without fear or reserve; with disheveled hair and lazy habits she refuses to do chores; she does not think of managing the household or raising the children; she may practice wanton lust without knowing shame; like a dog or beast, she humiliates her relatives—this is like an enemy. A murderer-like wife does not sleep day or night, directing a venomous heart toward him: 'By what means can I be rid of him?' If she wishes to give him poison, she fears people will discover it; or she sends him far or near among relatives, finding opportunities to become angry and secretly harm him with accomplices; or she takes precious goods to hire someone to harm him; or she commands an adulterous lover to lie in wait and kill him, unjustly taking her husband's life—this is the murderer-like wife.'