量處輕重儀 2.119

2.119

余自出家，心存律部，經今五十餘載，常懷介然。恨以教義未周，臨機多擁。雖伏膺高座，而以行事為先，涉歷炎涼，亟經載紀。至於持犯深旨，彌有憲章，輕重淺相，情求路絕。亦有高彥盛德，常學律門，聞斷重輕，便存緘口。目覩斯狀，又增倒懸。

Ever since I left home, my mind has been set on the Vinaya division; for more than fifty years now, I have constantly harbored concern. I regretted that the teachings and principles were not comprehensive, causing many blockages when facing circumstances. Though I sat reverently before the high seat, I prioritized the performance of affairs, passing through heat and cold for many long years. Regarding the profound principles of observance and transgression, clear regulations abound; yet for the shallow outward marks of light and heavy property, the path of reasoned inquiry was cut off. There were also men of high talent and eminent virtue who constantly studied the Vinaya gate, but upon hearing a judgment on heavy and light property, they would keep their mouths sealed. Witnessing this state of affairs only increased my distress, like hanging upside down.