Storia do Mogor 257: CHAPTER IX · CEREMONIES OBSERVED BY BRAHMANS AT THEIR WEDDINGS
Storia do Mogor (Irvine) 257
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CHAPTER IX · CEREMONIES OBSERVED BY BRAHMANS AT THEIR WEDDINGS
257.1
After a Brahman who wishes to marry has applied to his future father-in-law for his daughter's hand, he quits the place where his future wife resides and enters another house, where he is awaited by the relations of the girl. Then, after conversing some time, the bridegroom pretends he is angry, and rising in a great hurry, he puts on a pair of old clogs, takes a staff in his hand, puts a book under his arm, and says to the assembly that he is off for a pilgrimage through the world. He does really go away, but not very far, for the nearest relations of the woman hinder him by their implorations, and promise, for the purpose of appeasing his feigned anger, that he shall be married without delay. As proof that what they say is not a mockery, but the unalloyed truth, they take hold of him and place him on a table and carry him to the bride's door, where the girl's mother is waiting. After she has bathed his feet with cow's milk, and he has wiped them on the clothes he is wearing, they make him sit a little time on a new mat. Then the parents raise him by the hand, and seat him beside the bride on a swing made of boards tied to a beam with ropes. Then while some propel the swing, others break forth into laudatory songs.
257.2
When the bridegroom gets down and the music is over (all this taking place at the street-door), they bring him into the courtyard of the house, where they offer sacrifices and worship fire, which they hold also to be God. They offer also a coconut to an idol. When this is completed, the brother of the bride brings her forth in his arms. He seats her on a scuderis.
257.3
Then, before the bridegroom can bind on the piece of gold (i.e., the tali), the bride's father and her other relations put themselves in front of him and demand for the girl more money than agreed on in the beginning. On this point there is always a grand dispute, which does not always end without the interchange of abusive words, the least of which would in Europe make a man kill himself, or in any other land where there was the least feeling of shame and modesty. To end up with, the bridegroom is called upon to pay the extra money that the father-in-law continues to ask for — that is, unless he prefers to give up the alliance. After this dispute is over, he ties the piece of gold to the neck of the bride, whereby the marriage is concluded. The bridegroom finishes with a profound bow to his mother-in-law that is to be, throwing himself at her feet. She raises him, and gives him a coco-nut. However, she is not allowed to speak to him again for many a year. This obeisance over, the bridegroom takes hold of the bride's foot, and before everybody puts it three times on a stone which they use to crush their pepper and similar articles of food. Then they resume once more their sacrifices.
257.4
All that concerns the contract being accomplished, the banquet ceremonial follows, which is carried out thus : First of all, the ground beneath the arbour, surrounded by branches of trees, is carefully rubbed over with cowdung. Then the guests seat themselves on the ground, and before each is placed the leaf of a tree, or several leaves sewn together, as already spoken of (III. 114). On each is then placed a little salt and a small morsel of fruit preserved in vinegar. Next come the viands, carried by the attendants in baskets. They consist of cooked rice, of which each receives on his leaf as much as can be eaten, for nothing ought to be left. After this, as second plat, they bring cooked grain, over which they pour a little butter, and add various kinds of green-stuff. A second time they ladle out cooked rice on the top, and last of all some broth made of water and pepper, and a little curds. Then, as the bride may not eat at table with her spouse, the latter pays her a delicate compliment: he goes up behind her with a ball made of rice and grain from his leaf-plate, and thrusts it into her hand. Holding her face averted, she takes it, and then flees with the swiftness of a deer.
257.5
The feast ended, the Brahmans rise, and carrying off the leaf from which they have eaten, throw it outside. After washing their hands and feet, they thoroughly anoint their forehead, breast, and arms, with dissolved sandal. In these matters so bad are their manners, that if anything is deficient, they give the greatest abuse to the master of the house, in the hearing of everybody. On the third and fourth days the relations of the bride and bridegroom place them upon a platform, and raising it on their shoulders, carry the pair all over the town, halting from time to time; and then the relations or other friends present them with some fruit or other eatables. This visitation over, they carry the bride and bridegroom to their swing, and begin once more to sing their praises. The next day they rub oil on the head of the bride. The girl in sport throws some of it into the eyes of the bridegroom and the other bystanders. Then the same oil with which her head has been anointed is offered up by the married pair as a sacrifice.
257.6
When all the ceremonies have been performed, the newly-married man allows his wife to go back to her father's house, and he returns to his own abode accompanied by his relations. But the father and mother-in-law do not deliver their daughter to their son-in-law until she has attained puberty. This event is celebrated with all possible solemnity and even greater obscenity. Without offending Christian modesty, it is impossible to state what they say and do on such occasions. This is why I shall pass over in silence their conduct on such a day. I will merely say that the bride is shut up for twelve days in a little room outside the house, where no one may enter. There her food is pushed in at the room door. I will not repeat all the gross and coarse things said by the Brahman women and girls who collect there during the twelve days. These they utter not only in the house, but in the street, and that not only to each other, but to anybody passing along the road, whether known to them or unknown. No reproof or direction to hold their tongues comes from the fathers or husbands, in spite of their disapproving it. Yet no one stops the women, for they say it is the custom of their caste, which no one has the power to alter.
257.7
On the day that the girl arrives at puberty the father announces the fact to all his relations and friends, and calls upon them to rejoice with him. The first to be informed is the son-in-law, to whom notice is given, as to all the other relations, by writing letters on palm-leaves dyed with saffron, a sign instituted by these people for these great solemnities. After the twelve days have elapsed the woman goes to her father-in-law's, where are assembled all the relations, and almost the same ceremonies are performed as at the wedding, sacrifices and adoration of fire being offered anew. A second feast is given, and this day is called the day of second marriage, of the wedding feast of puberty. It is after this second celebration that the woman is given over to her husband, and not before. After she has been made over to her husband, and he has taken her home, she may not speak to him before anyone. Nor may she do so to her mother-in-law or her sisters-in-law, or any other of the male or female relations of her husband. Furthermore, she is compelled to do the lowliest duties of the household, such as going to fetch water and so forth. If she wants anything she has to ask for it by signs, which seems very ridiculous.
257.8
If she becomes enceinte, similar ceremonies to those gone through at the two festivities are performed at the end of the eighth month. This is called the third wedding feast, or the Feast of First Child-bearing. And then are finished, as they reckon, the Brahman wedding ceremonies. If the Brahman in question dies after binding the piece of gold on the woman's neck, which is the sign denoting the essential part of the marriage, the woman can never marry again, even should she be only four or five years of age. This is the usual age for fathers to marry off their daughters. There are, however, some who postpone it to the tenth year, but never beyond that age. After a husband's death, a widow adopts one of four courses. Those most sprightly and vigorous burn alive with the corpse of the defunct husband. This is carried out as follows : Wood is heaped up to a height of eight or nine feet, and about the same length and breadth. Upon the top the corpse of the dead Brahman is laid, dressed as when alive, the head to the south and the feet to the north. After he has been laid thus on the bonfire, there comes the wise man of the village and pronounces certain magic words at the five organs of sense, and anoints them with butter. The anointing done, the parents and the nearest relations throw four or five grains of uncooked rice into his mouth.
257.9
When these ceremonies are finished, they turn the body over on its side. As they do so the widow without tears — nay, on the contrary, all radiant and joyous — mounts to the top of the pyre, and lying down on her side, closely embraces her dead husband. At once the relations bind her feet strongly by two ropes to two posts driven into the ground for the purpose. Next they throw some more wood and dried cowdung on the two bodies ; the quantity is almost as much as that beneath them. The woman is then spoken to by her name, and three times distinctly she is called on to say whether she consents to go to heaven. To this she replies in the affirmative. Her answers having been received, they apply a light, and when the bodies have been consumed, each man returns home envying the firmness and constancy which the woman has been granted the felicity of displaying. Widows who on their husband's death lose their modesty, depart as soon as he expires to one of the large towns, and become public courtesans. Some pursue the same course in their husband's lifetime, for which crime there is no legal punishment inflicted in this country. Others who are not filled like the first set with the spirit of honour, nor like the second give themselves over to an abandoned life, remove upon their husband's death to their parents' house, and wait on them like servants. But this condition is not easy to put up with, while, on the other hand, they are keen to preserve their characters.
257.10
Thus they often make complaint to those who might rescue them from this sad condition, a malady all the heavier for having no possible relief unless the Brahmans chose to relax their rules. But they are a people who cannot be reasoned with in that direction. Other women, when the husband dies, since it would be disgraceful in their caste to marry again, and they cannot remain [126] as they are, go from door to door selling rice. They think nothing of this dishonour, which would be counted among Europeans as the depth of misfortune. Yet it may be said that those who adopt this plan are generally the wisest, for the work occupies them and frees them from the evils which follow in the train of laziness and idleness. For it may be said that Idleness is the mother of all the vices. The conduct of the Brahmans being such as I have described, I may assert that their pride is equal to their silliness, and may be justly styled that of Lucifer, for without subterfuge they claim to be gods, and as such they require all the other castes to honour and adore them. But their pretension is not justified, for in everybody else there are some evil traits, while all the rest is good ; whereas in the Brahman caste, where there ought doubtless to be something good, one meets with nothing that is not entirely evil.